HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: CGSEAL
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12393

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 146
BOT: 3
Total: 149
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Photo Albums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Your Account
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Your Account
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Photo Albums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Photo Albums
24: Home
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Photo Albums
31: Forums
32: Photo Albums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Home
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Photo Albums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Home
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Photo Albums
82: Home
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Photo Albums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Forums
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Home
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Your Account
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Your Account
112: Your Account
113: Forums
114: News
115: Photo Albums
116: Forums
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Photo Albums
122: Forums
123: Your Account
124: Home
125: Forums
126: Photo Albums
127: Treasury
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Forums
133: Forums
134: Photo Albums
135: Forums
136: PointBlank Ballistics
137: Home
138: Photo Albums
139: Forums
140: Your Account
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Photo Albums
145: Forums
146: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 312
 Pictures: 2417
  · Views: 263567
  · Votes: 1284
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

Elderly Irish Virgin
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1080
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Jun 30, 2010 2:02 am    Post subject: Elderly Irish Virgin Reply with quote

The Elderly Irish Virgin!!!

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it.
Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make proper 'final' arrangements. As a last wish, she informed theundertaker
that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:
'BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN'

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully.A fewdays after thefuneral,as the undertaker-- postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen Hethought long and hard about how he could fulfil the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone.
For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.

The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and dulyengraved, and it read as follows:

'RETURNED UNOPENED'

_________________
People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
multigauge
Rookie Member
Rookie Member


Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 4:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Elderly Irish Virgin Reply with quote

That reminds me of the following epitaph:

Here lie the bones of Abigail Jones
For her life held no terrors.
She lived an old maid, she died an old maid-
No hits, no runs, no errors.
Back to top
View user's profile
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 6869
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 5:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Elderly Irish Virgin Reply with quote

Radar, thanks for the chuckle!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.