HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Tionymark
New Today: 2
New Yesterday: 1
Overall: 12632

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 117
BOT: 1
Total: 118
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Home
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Photo Albums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Photo Albums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Home
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Home
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Home
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Home
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Home
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Home
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Home
58: Home
59: Your Account
60: Forums
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Home
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Home
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Photo Albums
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Home
94: Photo Albums
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Photo Albums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Photo Albums
113: Forums
114: Forums
115: Forums
116: Forums
117: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 305
 Pictures: 2362
  · Views: 460193
  · Votes: 1311
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

Al Qaeda on Strike
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13662
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 1:29 am    Post subject: Al Qaeda on Strike Reply with quote

Al Qaeda on Strike*

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25% this February from 72 to only 54. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs
(or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action.

General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands in which he currently resides, Al Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained, "We sympathize with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace.

"Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting wages but I'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up."

Spokespersons for the union in the Northeast of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the strike would not affect their operations as "There are no virgins in our areas anyway".

Apparently the drop in the number of suicide bombings has been put down to the emergence of the Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle - now that Muslims know what a virgin looks like that they are not so keen on going to paradise.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7621
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 5:54 am    Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike Reply with quote

HMG!! I laughed after the first sentence and then again with every paragraph B.O.O.M!!! This chuckle will last several days! Thanks Vince!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
44marty
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 20, 2009
Posts: 775
Location: Cheshire, MA; USA

PostPosted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike Reply with quote

Now THAT'S funny

_________________
_____________________________________

The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling

I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!!
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
diesel
Member
Member


Joined: Nov 20, 2007
Posts: 90
Location: Watsontown Pa.

PostPosted: Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike Reply with quote

good one, Vince
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
BigBlue
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 16, 2006
Posts: 1106
Location: Lehigh Township, Pennsylvania

PostPosted: Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Al Qaeda on Strike Reply with quote

Vince,
That's the best one I've heard in a loonng time. Poor Susan Boyle!
Don
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.