The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth
than your spouse.

Last year you hid Easter eggs under cow pies.

You've been married three times and still have the same
in-laws.

You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a
different night.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "Most Admired People."

You think Genitalia is an Italian airline.

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so
clean.

Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey,
y'all watch this!"

You've got more than one brother named 'Darryl.'

You think that Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.

Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.

You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are,
"Gentlemen, start your engines."

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded
right off its wheels.

You take a six-pack cooler to church.

You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

The bluebook value of your truck goes up and down, depending
on how much gas it has in it.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

One of your kids was born on a pool table.

Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the
same grade.

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie
at the House of Tattoos.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom fixture in your front
yard.

Ya can't get married to yer sweetheart 'cause there's a law
against it.

You dated one of your parents' current spouses in high
school.

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife
drunk.

Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it