An old Indian Christmas traditon? Naw .... made this up myself. I know that when you work around a bunch of people of the same gender, it's best not to talk about your spouse or your boyfriend or girlfriend or even your best friend, because it could cause friction somewhere down the line, and the last thing you want to do is get your best friend involved in some stupid office politics. This is so funny I had to get my office involved just a little bit to make it even more stupendous than it's ever been. Took some convincing but I had 3 ladies from work help me and they got it on tape too. (NO YOU CAN"T SEE IT SO DON"T ASK)
I've been living with a guy Jon (his real name too) for the past 20yrs, and for the past 10 or so years we've had this Christmas thing that we do that is sort of retarded, but fun and crazy, and we're fun and crazy, (sort of like those hippies you see that are obviously too old to be acting out their hippie fantasy? where I live there are tons of those). Anyway what we do is look for a restaurant open on Christmas day, something we do out of town. This place we found was awful, a sushi place in Corvallis. Don't want anyone to recognize us so it involves some travel, which is tough sometimes, weather and all that. We find a place and cozy-in like we're lovers on vacation, lots of leg-twining under the table, hand holding across the table and blatant kissing and on and on, nothing graphic but sort of close. (scuse me it's gettin warm in here) So I had 3 ladies from work come in just after we sat down and they stationed themselves at a table fairly close to ours. What started this whole thing is the restaurant's that make a fake big deal out of someone's birthday and they sing happy birthday and sometimes make you wear a stupid hat (cause they look stupid singing happy birthday to you, they make you wear a hat so you look stupid too) you know what I mean. So after eating and some blatant almost sexual stuff going on, my friend gets down on one knee beside the table so everyone can see and he's holding a small ring case (that doesn't have anything in it) and he starts off with this story of our love. It's so hard to keep from laughing at this point because he makes a big deal out of making something up that is tooooo hard to believe anyway and generally gets the whole place at his attention. So this time my 3 friends from work (on Christmas day mind you) took along their video camera and so they all stand up and video the whole thing (so everyone can see, it makes it more authentic), Jon was crackin me up so bad, I had tears in my eyes (which looks good too) and my 3 friends could hardly keep cool under this kind of pressure. Well the whole thing ends up with me saying NO! and walking out without him. This is a hard thing to do, but when you're laughing so hard and crying at the same time, it's welcome relief to run out of there and leave the group hanging, with their mouths open in shock. Jon has to compose himself and look shocked but he's usually sort of crying too and so it's hard to tell if he's laughing or crying or what. The wait staff usually get involved and this time one of the ladies started swabbing his eyes. My three friends caught the other patrons calling me names and one of them said "I think she was laughing, that's one cold-hearted bitch". Now something that happens every time is Jon goes outside when he can finally compose himself, is never asked to pay and we stand outside for quite some time talking but we never get asked to pay for dinner. Nice Christmas gift, they don't wanna kick the guy when he's down. Well the restaurant gets some wholesome entertainment on a working day and on Christmas, what could be more fitting! It's so totally fun and we've been doin this for a long time. We sometimes go back to the same place, like weeks later if we're in town and we usually get treated pretty good, and we always tip generously. It was so funny to watch the video, I've never watched the other people before because it's so hard to keep from laughing and then you start crying and you start hurting after a while. It's so fun! Anyway had a wonderful Christmas, hope you all did too!
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.