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Definitions for the Dictionary
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14220
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 29, 2008 8:14 pm    Post subject: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

These fit so well they should be in a dictionary.


ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle. Very Happy

BEAUTY PARLOR:

A place where women curl up and dye. Confused

CANNIBAL:

Someone who is fed up with people. Shocked


CHICKENS:

The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. wtf


COMMITTEE:

A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. Very Happy


DUST:

Mud with the juice squeezed out. wtf Confused


EGOTIST:

Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. Laughing


HANDKERCHIEF:

Cold Storage. Yuck


INFLATION:

Cutting money in half without damaging the paper. Mad


MOSQUITO:

An insect that makes you like flies better. Mad


RAISIN:

Grape with a sunburn. Confused


SECRET:

Something you tell to one person at a time. Laughing


SKELETON:

A bunch of bones with the person scraped off. wtf Shocked


TOOTHACHE:

The pain that drives you to extraction. Crying or Very sad


TOMORROW:

One of the greatest labor saving devices of today. Very Happy Laughing


YAWN:

An honest opinion openly expressed. Very Happy


WRINKLES:

Something other people have, similar to my character lines. Very Happy Razz

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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dust54
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Member


Joined: Mar 31, 2006
Posts: 179
Location: Gurley, AL

PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 3:55 am    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

Talley oh!!

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"The operations of the federal government will be most extensive and important in times of war and danger; those of the State governments, in times of peace and security."

-- James Madison (Federalist No. 45, 1788)
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whittling
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Apr 21, 2008
Posts: 586
Location: Texas (home state is Mass)

PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 6:27 am    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

You forgot :
OLD AGE - something other people get .....
PAIN - something other people should take like a man.

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Service, honor and courage, without these a warrior is nothing.
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OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Wed Jul 30, 2008 11:44 am    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

Watch it youngun! Talkin about us old f*rts might get us upset and we'll have to go take a nap! Mad

Cary

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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14220
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:56 am    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

Sleep ....ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ..... Sleep Sleep wha, wha... who's that...what was that Cary?

ZZZZZZZ snuffle Sleep Sleep snuffle ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

OY.......Keep it down to a dull roar you mob. Sleep Sleep

X
XX
XXX
XXXX
XXXXX
XXXXXX
XXXXXXX
XXXXXXXX

Sleep Sleep

I'm tryin' to stack some Z's here. Very Happy Sleep Sleep

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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phill21
Member
Member


Joined: Aug 02, 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Western Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:42 am    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

HEY OLD TIMERS Nananana wakey wakey

heres few more

A parliament of owls

A flange of baboons

A wake of buzzards

A crash of rhinoceroses

Blah Blah Read Book Laughing

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ phil

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OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:05 am    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

Here's one for you Phill21....... Fart ROFL Laughing From all the loose drawstringed old timers!! ROFL

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phill21
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Joined: Aug 02, 2007
Posts: 145
Location: Western Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 3:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

OntheLasGallinas
Haha Haha ROFL Laughing Sleep Fart
Excellent Very Happy

phil

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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14220
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Definitions for the Dictionary Reply with quote

OK...I'm awake now...can't sleep with all this racket and "activity".



Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
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