would you want to know

Morax · Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 7:28 am Post subject: would you want to know

a little back story here..
a good good family friend has been battling cancer for the past 5 years or so, and the after all the normal radiation-chemo-drugs-blah blah.. the stuff is winning out, the doctor just gave him a finalized timeline of a month or two tops.. so my question is, when it comes time like that would you want to know or not?

Bushmaster · Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:58 pm Post subject: Re: would you want to know

It really wouldn't make that much difference one way or another except to try and make a lier out of the doctor...

gelandangan · Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 3:03 pm Post subject: Re: would you want to know

Too true Bushy..
Doctors are human too.. It wont be the first time doctors made mistake.

Morax · Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 5:54 pm Post subject: Re: would you want to know

well he was origionally given 2 years and this was at the begining.. so he did that already... i spent the afternoon evening with him, and his spirits are real good!! and of course he had to rub it in he got a new toy a beauty of a colt commander .45 talk about a nice feeling pistol! i liked it a bit too much!!

but yeah he is going in for a rad treatment friday for a leason on the frontal lob of his brain to help with headaches, but it has progressed into his lungs and everything.... damn this sucks...

Bushmaster · Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:16 pm Post subject: Re: would you want to know

I had a close friend and neighbor die of cancer in my arms...I truly understand and know what you are feeling. An absolutely helpless feeling...Not much anyone can say that'll help either...I'm sorry...

BUT HE AIN'T DEAD YET SO MAKE THE BEST OF IT...

1895ss · Posted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:52 pm Post subject: Re: would you want to know

Vince · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:46 am Post subject: Re: would you want to know

Jeff, from my experience all you can really do is be there for your mate.

Don't pity him or show heaps of sorrow....just be his mate and do your level best to ignore the cancer and its deadline. He knows its there...you know its there....neither of you can do anything about it, so just help take his mind off it by acting as if nothing is wrong. Nothing will help him live through it better and easier than not making a big deal of it.

There's not many have what it takes to stand by someone like you are. Well done mate...I'm proud of you and Lori.

Cheers, Vince

Morax · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:58 am Post subject: Re: would you want to know

i agree wholeheartedly on those points guys, we know its there, and we cant do nothing about it, it just is a rough one to deal with, my youngest who is now 13 and as big as a linebacker was in diapers playing under his kitchen table with thier new puppy "back in the day" this is how far back we goand further.... as per keeping the spirits up, when he was telling me about the leasions and everything i stopped him and said wait a minute i thought you had colon cancer, oh yeah nevermind ya really are a butthead... i thought he was gonna fall out of bed laughing at me !!

Dallan a personal public thanks to you for allowing me a space to vent here, not really hunting related but something close to my heart and i just wanted to say thanks for it..

Bushmaster · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:54 am Post subject: Re: would you want to know

Morax,

This isn't a club...It's a family. We piss and moan and bi**h at each other. Yell, disagree and argue with each other. But we keep coming back to the same thing. Family...

Dimitri · Super Member Joined: Nov 25, 2005 Posts: 5946

Firstly, Bushy is right on 2 accounts, one make the best of the time left, go out and take a few days off work to get a few extra days of fishing or hunting in, go to both your favorite bar or something and just enjoy life. Death is not something to be afraid of, especially if you believe in God and know what will happen after death. Smile

And he is also right that this isn't a club, more like close friends or family, if anyone comes up around here and wants to stop on by they are plenty welcome to grab a few beers with me (my treat). Smile

Dimitri

ElyBoy · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 3:00 pm Post subject: Re: would you want to know

Prayers will be said for your friend Partner.

Vince said it all for me.

God Bless,

Eric

OntheLasGallinas · Posted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:09 pm Post subject: Re: would you want to know

I agree with everyone. Just keep being a friend and make yourself available. I'm going through the same thing with a friend. It hard on all friends and loved ones, in just not knowing what to do or say. Hang in there and just make the best of the time that's left.

Cary

ElyBoy · Posted: Sat Apr 05, 2008 9:55 am Post subject: Re: would you want to know

I deal with this thing on a daily basis with homebound terminal people, nursing home, and assisted living folks, through the Catholic Church.
A person should be there for the terminal by just listening to them. Otherwise called "Active Listening".
Their Families will take care of the decisions etc., it is up to the friend to listen to the sick person's complaints, and stories, and give emotional, and Spiritual support.
Advice for the most part is not helpful, and could cause much problems for the Ill and their Families.

Just be there for them, and above all be a good LISTENER.
Unlike when I'm talking hunting and shooting, and being a general "motor mouth", before I speak with the ill, I make sure what I'm going to say, and decide that, is what I am going to say necessary.

All of this I have learned from many hours of meetings and workshops by the people who have written the book on this stuff.
During the meetings, I am my usual self, and questioning their teachings, then, down the road in actual settings, have found that the Teachers are right on the mark with this.

It's funny, but just this week, a person who I was giving Communion to, and visiting regularly, Passed On.
My Son Zach, told me that my track record with these people isn't very good.
I told him that my job wasn't to heal them, but to help them get to Heaven. Miracles, I have seen, and reminded him of one in particular, but that is not my job, and it shouldn't be your jobs either.

Good luck guys, and feel free to email me or call me if you need support.
A PM will get you my email and phone number.

Eric