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McCartnetney / McCartney-Mills
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12987
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:15 pm    Post subject: McCartnetney / McCartney-Mills Reply with quote

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are going through divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg..... Personally, I think it's prosthetic.

News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from
his wife Heather Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. 'He has been my crutch for so long'! She said in an earlier briefing, 'I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped'.

'She's running around in circles', according to a close friend, 'she will
need all the support she can get. It's not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this'

After his break up with Heather, Paul was asked if he would ever
consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would prefer it if we called her Heather. Confused wtf Cool

It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to
the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she won't have a leg to stand on.

Rumours abound over the split which have suggested that infidelity
may have been the cause. 'She's terrible' a source stated, 'always trying to get her leg over'.

Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the

'Macca couldn't handle it anymore' a friend said, 'he would get home
at night and find her legless'

Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the
present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate:

" I'm stuffed, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate says: "Try Paul McCartney".

Finally a poem by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a grassy bank...
My hands were all a quiver.
I slowly removed her suspender belt....
and her leg fell in the river!!

Laughing Laughing ROFL

Cheers, Vince

Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Joined: Dec 18, 2006
Posts: 618
Location: Pittsburgh Pa

PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2008 6:00 am    Post subject: Re: McCartnetney / McCartney-Mills Reply with quote

oh man!!! that was pretty good
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