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Man Strikes Back
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13633
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:15 am    Post subject: Man Strikes Back Reply with quote

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened when she brings it.

---------------------------------------------------------

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

---------------------------------------------------------

Why do women have smaller feet than men?

It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

---------------------------------------------------------

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

---------------------------------------------------------

How do you fix a woman's watch?

You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

---------------------------------------------------------

Why do men pass gas more than women?

Because women can't shut up long enough to Build up the required pressure.

---------------------------------------------------------

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front
door, who do you let in first?

The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

---------------------------------------------------------

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

A woman who won't do what she's told.

---------------------------------------------------------

I married a Miss Right.

I just didn't know her first name was "Always".

---------------------------------------------------------

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.

It's called a Wedding Cake.

---------------------------------------------------------

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to.

---------------------------------------------------------

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

---------------------------------------------------------

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.

Then God created Man and rested.

Then God created Woman.

Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

----------------------------------------------------------

ROFL Hiding

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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d_hoffman
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:44 am    Post subject: Re: Man Strikes Back Reply with quote

Good one Vince. "A man once told me" that anything that can bleed for a week and not die can't be human.

_________________
The best form of gun control...aim straight!!!
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shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
Super Red Neck Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2955
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 2:08 pm    Post subject: Re: Man Strikes Back Reply with quote

Worship You da man vince ROFL
Joe

_________________
"MOLON LABE"

P E T A
People Eating Tasty Animals
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