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Proofs -- Jesus is from
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5645
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 7:50 pm    Post subject: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Three Proofs That Jesus Was Jewish

1 - He went into his father's business

2 - He lived at home until the age of 33

3 - He was sure his mother was a virgin, and his mother sure he was God



Three Proofs That Jesus Was Irish

1 - He never got married

2 - He never held a steady job

3 - His last request was a drink



Three Proofs That Jesus Was Italian

1 - He talked with his hands

2 - He had wine with every meal

3 - He worked in the building trades



Three Proofs That Jesus Was Black

1 - He called everybody brother

2 - He held no permanent address

3 - Nobody would hire him



Three Proofs That Jesus Was Californian

1 - He never cut his hair

2 - He walked around barefoot

3 - He invented a new religion



Three Proofs That Jesus Was Puerto Rican

1 - His first name was Jesus

2 - He was always in trouble with the law

3 - His mother did not know who his father was

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Vince
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 30, 2007 11:20 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Uh Oh... Hiding I'm watching fer lightning bolts. Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
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Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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Weinbender
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Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 8:58 am    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Uh Oh... Hiding I'm watching fer lightning bolts. Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

Ha Vince thats exactly what i was thinking

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d_hoffman
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 11:35 am    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Hey Vince, you might want to stay away from Sydney for a while. scared Evil Devil burr

Maybe this will help. Pray Angel

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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 03, 2007 5:19 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Want Proof Jesus was Canadian ?? Laughing

He accepted everyone no matter who they were with open arms.

He was always there to lend a hand.

He was always polite even to the people who wanted him dead.

Very Happy

Dimitri

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Weinbender
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
Want Proof Jesus was Canadian ?? Laughing

He accepted everyone no matter who they were with open arms.

He was always there to lend a hand.

He was always polite even to the people who wanted him dead.

Very Happy

Dimitri

no offense to other Canadians but Canada takes all the immigrants she can cause it will boost this countrys economy(a town closs to where i lived almost tripled in size and ecocomy ever since all these german and mennonites came within the last 10 years or less)

"He was always there to lend a hand." honestly thats not true either, maybe our troops would like to help but our stupid goverment doesnt want our troops to go die in another country.

He was always polite even to the people who wanted him dead-
thats true, but ive known of lots of people who greeted me as if im their long lost son but later they talked trash about me.

so thats what i have to say from my own experience, not saying canada is a crapy country(cause why would i be here then, right) but some of the things that used to be true are not true anymore.

no offense meant to anyone and i ask for forgiveness if i have, we are all hunters so we are responsible and jsut like to say whats on our minds right??? well atleast i do!

Dan

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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Dan,

Immigration IS what made Canada, Canada has always been a country where people from all over the world have come to start new lifes for themselves and their children. From the early French colonists (who I can trace my one side of the family to) all the way to the immigrants of today. As well as many of these immigrants over the years adopting the French policy of mixing with everyone else. Makes everyone a big mess of family lines. Laughing

I don't know, for a country of 30 million people we seem to still lend a hand to anyone we can both military and other support. Sure maybe not in Sudan right now (the one issue that comes up alot here in Canada recently), but our resources and military is kinda spread too thin for comfort right now. Wink

As for being polite. Just cause you are polite to someone doesn't mean you have to like the guy. Laughing

Just my counter views, thats all Dan. Not trying to cause a ruckus Smile

Dimitri

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bigd
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 7:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

This proves that God is all things to all people.
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tracker
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 7:15 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Canada lend a hand militarily? We should send hockey players.... Mad

Always nice to people?chase a puck into a corner with a 250 pound defenceman coming in behind you.... Shocked then tell me. Very Happy

Dan? That town you're talking about has been German and Mennonite for a lot more than the last ten years. That whole section of Manitoba is so blonde haired and blue eyed, you feel like you're in the newest installment of Children of the Corn when you drive through.They pursued an aggressive immigration policy on their own to get people who would come in and start businesses...and hey, good for them.

I'm not too sure Jesus was Canadian because...I don't think he spoke French.... ROFL ROFL Just funnin' with ya kids...

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5645
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 9:24 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

To anybody that feel offended by this topic, I apologise, I regret bringing this topic up, I never meant to make a joke of your religion.
I am an atheist you see..

It is just the fact that those m uslim guys don't like mo-ham-ed named teddy bear, so I thought to stir up a bit with jesus named dude.
Never know that there are fanatics on our civilised world too..

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 06, 2007 9:26 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Gelan,

Nothing wrong with them it was funny! Don't get us wrong, we are kidding around when we say lighting bolts are going to strike you down. Laughing

Dimitri

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Weinbender
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Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:22 am    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Were kidding??? really?

ah hell who am i kidding off course we are and gelan u might be an atheist and i a strong believer in the bible but were all hunters so lets drop this and lets have a beer Cheers !

and tracker ur totally right about southern manitoba being german and mexican mennonite for a long time but most germans that have been living in winkler more than 10 years have pretty much just assimilated themselves into canadian society, i personally wont do that not that i dont like canadian, but because i am still a proud and patriotic German and always will be. will get my Canadian citizenship in a few months tho.

and if u have negative feelings against the germans in winkler and area tracker then i totally agree with u, most of the new ones are very arrogant and start fights between germans themselves.

and BigD i accept ur counter statement and agree with u but most canadians believe that everyone loves em so much and they think say that canada is a racist free country. believe ive heard this tons of times but what ive noticed and experienced is that England, Canada and the US are the most racist countrys and France. again no offense meant, u have to understand once i get talking about this someone has to stop me, MR.Bushy tell me to shut up!!!! Very Happy

Dan

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Weinbender
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 9:25 am    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

And if ive offended anyone i apoligize, u have to understand once i get rolling i cant stop thats y someone of the older guys needs to tell me to shut up!

dan Very Happy

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tracker
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:26 am    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Gelan, you're an atheist? who's name do you scream out when you're getting l**d? I've always just wondered Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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gelandangan
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 5:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Proofs -- Jesus is from Reply with quote

Tracks.. what I screamed out usually not fit for public announcements so there !! Very Happy

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
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The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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