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2$ Bills
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Super Member
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 10:30 am    Post subject: 2$ Bills Reply with quote

I suppose this should go all around the Internet so young people will know that there actually is a $2 bill in our monetary system. Poorly circulated I think, because everybody has hoarded them.

Like the $1 coins that the Treasury has tried to introduce, the $2 bill has languished in home dresser drawers and shoe boxes.

Many of todays youth are terribly challenged without a computer to tell them what to do. This story is amusing - lack of education is not.

Here's one person's recent experience with a $2 bill....

On my way home from work, I stopped at Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat. In my billfold are only a $50 bill and a $2 bill. I figure that with a $2 bill, I can get something to eat and not have to worry about anyone getting irritated at me for trying to break a $50 bill.

Me: "Hi, I'd like one seven-layer burrito please, to go."

Counter-Person: "That'll be $1.04. Eat in?"

Me: "No, it's to go." At this point, I open my billfold and hand the counter-person the $2 bill. He looks at it kind of funny.

Counter-Person: "Uh, hang on a sec, I'll be right back."

He goes to talk to his manager, who is still within my earshot. The following conversation occurs between the two of them:

Counter-Person: "Hey, you ever see a $2 bill?"

Manager: "No. A what?"

Counter-Person: "A $2 bill. This guy just gave it to me."

Manager: "Ask for something else, there's no such thing as a $2 bill."

Counter-Person: "Yeah, thought so"

He comes back to me and says, "We don't take these. Do you have anything else?"

Me: "Just this fifty. You don't take $2 bills? Why?"

Counter-Person: "I don't know."

Me: "See here where it says legal tender?"

Counter-Person: "Yeah."

Me: "So, why won't you take it?"

Counter-Person: "Well, hang on a sec."

He goes back to his manager, who has been watching me like I'm a shoplifter, and says to him, "He says I have to take it."

Manager: "Doesn't he have anything else?"

Counter-Person: "Yeah, a fifty. I'll get it and you can open the safe and get change."

Manager: "I'm not opening the safe with him in here."

Counter-Person: "What should I do?"

Manager: "Tell him to come back later when he has real money."

Counter-Person: "I can't tell him that! You tell him."

Manager: "Just tell him."

Counter-Person: "No way! This is weird. I'm going in back."

The manager approaches me and says, "I'm sorry, but we don't
take big bills this time of night."

Me: "It's only seven o'clock! Okay then, here's a two dollar bill."

Manager: "We don't take those, either."

Me: "Why not?"

Manager: "I think you know why."

Me: "No really, tell me why."

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Manager: "Please leave before I call mall security."

Me: "What on earth for?"

Manager: "Please, sir."

Me: "Uh, go ahead, call them."

Manager: "Would you please just leave?"

Me: "No."

Manager: "Fine -- have it your way then."

At this point, he backs away from me and calls mall security on
the phone around the corner.

I have two people staring at me from the dining area, and I begin laughing out loud, just for effect. A few minutes later this 45-year-oldish guy comes in.

Guard: "Yeah, Mike, what's up?"

Manager (whispering): "This guy is trying to give me some
(pause) funny money."

Guard: "No kidding! What?"

Manager: "Get this ... a two dollar bill."

Guard (incredulous): "Why would a guy fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know. He's kinda weird. He says the only other
thing he has is a fifty."

Guard: "Oh, so the fifty's fake!"

Manager: "No, the two dollar bill is."

Guard: "Why would he fake a two dollar bill?"

Manager: "I don't know! Can you talk to him, and get him out of here?"

Guard: "Yeah."

Security Guard walks over to me and....

Guard: "Mike here tells me you have some fake bills you're trying to use."

Me: "Uh, no."

Guard: "Lemme see 'em."

Me: "Why?"

Guard: "Do you want me to get the cops in here?"

At this point I am ready to say, "Sure, please!" but I want to eat, so I say "I'm just trying to buy a burrito and pay for it with this two dollar bill.

I put the bill up near his face, and he flinches like I'm taking a swing at him. He takes the bill, turns it over a few times in his hands, and says, "Hey, Mike, what's wrong with this bill?"

Manager: "It's fake."

Guard: "It doesn't look fake to me."

Manager: "But it's a two dollar bill."

Guard: "Yeah?"

Manager: "Well, there's no such thing, is there?"

The security guard and I both look at him like he's an idiot, and it dawns on the guy that he has no clue.

So, it turns out that my burrito was free, and he threw in a small drink and some of those cinnamon thingies, too.

Made me want to get a whole stack of two dollar bills just to see what happens when I try to buy stuff.

If I got the right group of people, I could probably end up in jail. You get free food there, too.....



A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Joined: Jan 18, 2005
Posts: 3157
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Fri Apr 14, 2006 11:26 am    Post subject: Re: 2$ Bills Reply with quote

The day the "new" colored $100 bills came out my dad got some and took my mom and his brother &wife out to dinner at Red Lobster for a minor get-together. My day paid for the dinner with a new bill which they promptly refused for the same reasons as the $2 above.

They ended up getting into a comical argument over it and the police actually got called in... which they promptly verified the bill as a valid new $100 bill.

So funny.

Whats sad is people with some of the older money that didnt have the security stripe, cant pay with it anymore as youth cant imagine a time when the stripe didnt exist...

... let alone tell them about the THREE dollar bill

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Posts: 87
Location: Central Minnesota

PostPosted: Tue Feb 13, 2007 11:16 pm    Post subject: Re: 2$ Bills Reply with quote

Yes I know this is an old one, but I've had to deal with this is reverse. it is pretty sad when you have to call a persons bank and get a teller to tell them that yes, the new bills do look like they belong in a board game.

never have a problem at my store though, all my staff knows to use the security pen on all bills they may suspect. makes it a lot easier on us older wiser people who have to do the paper work most of the day

There are only 10 types of people in the world, Those who understand binary and those who don't
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