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The Rat
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Daveyboy
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Joined: Jan 22, 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 8:16 am    Post subject: The Rat Reply with quote

This is very bad but funny......


The Rat

A City Gent walked into a curio shop in Notting Hill. Looking around at the exotica, he noticed a very life-like, life-size bronze statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it looked so striking that he decided he must have it.

He took it to the owner and asked "How much is the bronze rat?"
"Twelve pounds for the rat, a hundred pounds if you bring it back,"said the owner.
The City Gent gave the shop owner twelve pounds. "I'll take the rat; And I won't be bringing it back."

As he walked down the street carrying the bronze rat, he noticed that a few real rats had crawled out of alleys and sewers, and began following him down the street. This was a bit disconcerting, so he began to walk a little bit faster. Within a couple of blocks, the group of rats behind him grew to over a hundred, and they began squealing.

He started to trot towards the river Thames . He took a nervous look around and saw that the rats numbered in the thousands, maybe in the millions, and they were all squealing and coming towards him faster and faster.

Terrified, he ran to the edge of the water and threw the bronze rat as far out into the river Thames as he could.

Amazingly, the millions of rats all jumped into the water after it, and were
drowned.

The City Gent walked back to the curio shop. "Aha," said the owner, "You're bringing it back !"

"Actually no," said the City Gent, "I've come back to see how much you want for that little bronze Muslim over there!"





Oh c'mon, it's funny. Pretend it's a Mexican then...

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 12, 2006 8:53 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

I can go either way Daveyboy. And I did find it funny...

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Vince
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 13, 2006 6:49 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

Good one Daveyboy....now if it was only true.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
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Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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Daveyboy
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 9:08 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

2 comments? Is that it? But I know that you've cut and pasted this and told all your mates as well...

D

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 2:21 pm    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

Did the best I could, Davyboy....

There, now...You have three comments...Happy?? Very Happy

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Vince
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 6:14 pm    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

BOOM BOOM

(Yeah I know....2 dicks on a pond, but its supposed to represent two drum beats) Very Happy

Laughing Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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1895ss
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2006 9:48 pm    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

Right...... if only!!!! Smile

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Daveyboy
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 12:54 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

2 Dicks on a pond?

Vince, you are a strange man...

D

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Vince
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:47 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

Daveyboy wrote:
2 Dicks on a pond?

Vince, you are a strange man...

D

wtf WHOOPS.......a typo. Shocked

Amendment 1 to Post BOOM BOOM:

Line 1 delete "dicks".....insert "ducks"

Laughing Very Happy Laughing Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 15, 2006 6:58 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

Chalk it up to a fraudian slip, Vince.... Very Happy Very Happy

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Crackshot
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:02 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

If only that would work!

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2006 9:10 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

Does anyone have the e-mail address of the nearest Pied Piper???

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2006 12:28 am    Post subject: Re: The Rat Reply with quote

no, but I know a guy who has a bunch of bronze statues of scantily clad women......

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