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Dating rules
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515034s10ring
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Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 7:10 pm    Post subject: Dating rules Reply with quote

As the father of 2 young ladies i like these quite a bit Wink And if this was posted before........CRS Very Happy

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes to big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the course of you date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "Barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is: "early".

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to introduce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka -- zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless God of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun. a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car -- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

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Bushmaster
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Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Apr 22, 2006 7:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

10ring...These are very old indeed, but sage rules for male dates to live by. My daughter's boyfriends had to live by them and they are still good today. It doesn't hurt to refresh ones memory with good rules...By the way...My daughter is 35. And these are older then that.

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 7:12 am    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote



I dont think it was ever posted here 10Ring dont worry no CRS for you today Laughing

But on the internet you normally see this called "Ten Rules to Dating a Drill Instructors Daughter". I've shown it before to some girls I know and told them that I was gonna use these rules if I did end up with a daughter. Very Happy Claimed I'd be a bad father because I wouldnt give my daughter any freedoms. Shocked Now I myself I called it "protecting your daughter from scum" but thats just me. Cool

Dimitri

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Bushmaster
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Posts: 10566
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 8:31 am    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

Don't worry Dimitri. Wait until those girls have daughters of their own.
They'll change their minds...Before I hooked up with this woman she was a wild one. When she had her daughter she turned into a tyrant and I was the one that had to slow her down to keep her from stifling her daughter too much.

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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515034s10ring
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Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 1:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

Yeah Bushy i hear ya about women being on the wild side......I'm STILL dealing with that issue (maybe i should have married an older women Laughing ) .

But honestly now...Unless law makers abolish the Right To Carry law, i really don't think my daughters will have too much of a problem.....Oh, Certianly when they are of age that is Twisted Evil Wink

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PaulS
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Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3546
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 1:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

:^)

Gentlemen,

I trained my daughter so that I didn't have to threaten her boy friends.
I taught her to shoot at a tender age - I think she was 7 when she fired her first handgun - and she was good enough by 8 to shoot without any help and keep her shots in a 6 inch circle of black (aiming at a white dot center).
What really did it was I knew I could trust her. The boys before her fiance didn't stand a chance. When she got engaged - it was me she came to for advice on just about every tension in their relationship. Her husband (now) and I had one heart to heart talk after he demonstrated a temper on my kitchen door - I told him in a very calm voice that he needed to get that temper under control bacause if he ever hit my daughter I would kill him. It wasn't a threat and he knew it. I just wanted him to understand that even after they got married there were certain rules that would never change. We have stayed on good terms through two grandsons and a host marital challenges. I trust him too. They are both active in their church and have good support systems in place. They have never once questioned the love they share.

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10566
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 2:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

Gave my daughter a gelded horse. The boys couldn't compare or compete.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...


Last edited by Bushmaster on Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:53 pm; edited 1 time in total
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515034s10ring
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Joined: Sep 08, 2005
Posts: 1153
Location: Working my way back up and around

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 2:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

I think i may be off to a good start Very Happy

Eldest (8 at the time) with a comped 9mm at 10 yards Mr. Green Cheers

Edited to correct yardage Neutral ........It's 15 yards not 10 yards Wink .

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Why no......I'm really not an outdoorsmsn at all. But i did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night!


Last edited by 515034s10ring on Sun Apr 23, 2006 5:31 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 3:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

Jaw Drop

Dimitri

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13632
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

Being a proud father of four(4).....yep, thats right 4, daughters I knew I had my work cut out for me. Sad

Taught 3 of them to shoot; got a 12' bull whip; took their boyfriend to the range while I explained the facts of life to them; then sat back waiting for the problems to arrive. Sad

Only had reason for one "man to man" chat with one of my son-in-laws, when he started crying I figured he had had enough "advice". Very Happy Haven't had a reason to do any "contact counselling".....yet, but I don't expect to. Smile

My 2 eldest are married with 3 kids a piece so I guess they are big enough and old enough to solve their problems....unless Dad is needed. Mad

One thing I always said though is that I had no qualms about spending the rest of my life in goal for protecting one of my daughters. I still stand by that statement. Evil or Very Mad Cool

Apart from that.....love the Rules above 10ring, they tell it like it should be.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Vince
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Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Apr 23, 2006 9:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Dating rules Reply with quote

Being a proud father of four(4).....yep, thats right 4, daughters I knew I had my work cut out for me. Sad

Taught 3 of them to shoot; got a 12' bull whip; took their boyfriend to the range while I explained the facts of life to them; then sat back waiting for the problems to arrive. Sad

Only had reason for one "man to man" chat with one of my son-in-laws, when he started crying I figured he had had enough "advice". Very Happy Haven't had a reason to do any "contact counselling".....yet, but I don't expect to. Smile

My 2 eldest are married with 3 kids a piece so I guess they are big enough and old enough to solve their problems....unless Dad is needed. Mad

One thing I always said though is that I had no qualms about spending the rest of my life in goal for protecting one of my daughters. I still stand by that statement. Evil or Very Mad Cool

Apart from that.....love the Rules above 10ring, they tell it like it should be.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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