On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field
and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle. The base serves as a linking point to get to various bases around the world.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied "It makes a lot of difference.
If it is an American Airlines flight, it is 10 o'clock.
If it is an Air Force plane, it is 2200 hours.
If it is a Navy aircraft, it is 20 bells.
If it is an Army aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 10.
If it is a Marine Corps aircraft, it's Saturday evening and 120
minutes to "Happy Hour."
The value of an Officer VS a NCO
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of s**t. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of s**t?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of s**t, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of s**t, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough s**t to build an officer"
A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for
the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"
The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"
"I think somebody stole the tent."
During the Vietnam war, a Lieutenant asked a Marine why he was falling back during a really fierce battle. "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?"
The Marine replied, "I got my four Sir."
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, sir."
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, take the simple phrase "secure the building".
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
Speaking of airports in Germany, the one servicing the Hamburg area is known to be staffed by a rather snooty ground control crew.
They expect you to know exactly where to go and what to do, which may lead to frustration on the part of aircraft captains new to the route.
This is the account of one such flight in particular, concerning a senior captain ..........
"Tower, British Airways one-seven, completed rollout, awaiting further instructions."
"British Airways one-seven, this is Hamburg ground, clear to taxi to Gate Seven."
"Roger, Hamburg ground, request directions to Gate Seven."
"British Airways one-seven, have you never been to Hamburg before ?"
"Yes, a number of times, Hamburg ground, in 1944, but we did not stop !!!"
Dimitri