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CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE:
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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pete4d
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 361
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:37 am    Post subject: CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE: Reply with quote





CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE:

A lion will not cheat on his mate, but a Tiger Wood!

Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.

Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion.

Man who runs in front of car gets tired, man who runs behind car gets exhausted.

Man who eats many prunes get good run for money.


War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.

Man who drives like hell is bound to get there.

Man who stands on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Suzanne
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3261
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:29 pm    Post subject: Re: CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE: Reply with quote

War does not determine who is right, it determines who is left.++

Barry inneresting

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6745
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:30 pm    Post subject: Re: CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE: Reply with quote

very punny indeed.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12817
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:03 pm    Post subject: Re: CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE: Reply with quote

Well done Pete...these puns are very much up to my standard mate...I'm impressed. Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4345
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 6:58 pm    Post subject: Re: CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE: Reply with quote

Wait... There was a standard??

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5648
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:24 pm    Post subject: Re: CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE: Reply with quote

Complete with bylaws Pumpkin Deal

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Tremblay
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1457
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 9:05 pm    Post subject: Re: CONFUCIUS DID NOT SAY ANY OF THESE: Reply with quote

Knee slapper indeed

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
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