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(Why), things I Question
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12911
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 5:22 am    Post subject: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME!

Can you cry under water?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'...but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why ???

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVOURITE.........

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Have a good day.... Life is good !!

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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camel
Member
Member


Joined: May 30, 2011
Posts: 129
Location: Hillston Nsw Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 6:12 am    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

damitall Vince, u sure come up with some gooduns, how can us meer mortals be expected to answer all that in one sitting. Sort of like going to smorgasboard and trying to eat little bit of everything there, then go back for seconds. Confused Confused . Maybe u can get hold of your local Greens member of parliament, they got all the answers these days, just ask uncle Bob

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Gut shot rabbits aint worth jack shit. Camel
Opinions are like rear ends, every one has got one.
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eeyouelder
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 120
Location: Quebec

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 6:16 am    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

Hello Vince,

I resent what you said about my friends, you know very well that they have their head screwed on right.

Have a good day
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10219
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 7:35 am    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

Aah...Then it IS you afterall.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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eeyouelder
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 120
Location: Quebec

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:37 am    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

Hello Bushmaster

That is what my wife says when I want to buy another gun.
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Ominivision1
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:46 am    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
QUESTIONS THAT HAUNT ME! Can you cry under water? Yup
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? I sleep like a log. Smile

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Hmm, Last time the word "bra" was mentioned, quite a few of us had to climb the ladder and go to the woodshed, see HERE But I'll give my 2 cents on this one. Bras are short for brassieres and panties are plural for a womens pants, just like for men wearing pants instead of pant(s) or trouser(s). Very Happy

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Don't want to know! Shocked

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Very Happy try food coloring.

Have a good day.... Life is good !!

Cheers, Vince

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Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10219
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 1:16 pm    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

But then you have panty-hose...

Oh-boy...Hope that ladder refuge is well stocked...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6809
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

sleep like a baby. Very Happy nah mateys I too sleep like a log Cool , my misses reckons I sound like one too. a log going through a sawmill that is!!! Embarassed

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10219
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 6:18 am    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

I don't snore. I stayed awake one whole night to see if I could catch me snoring.

Years ago I had the [missfortune] to share a room with a co-worker in Pu Hang, Korea. Elvis...He sounded like the whole saw mill in full operation (and smoked worse then a dragon)...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2224
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 3:58 pm    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

Vince,

"Why did you just try singing the two songs above? "

Bastard..............:)

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12911
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 8:20 pm    Post subject: Re: (Why), things I Question Reply with quote

dhc4ever wrote:
Vince,

"Why did you just try singing the two songs above? "

Bastard..............:)

Who ME ??? Haha Haha Haha Haha Cheers

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

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