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Canadians
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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1895ss
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: West of Here!!

PostPosted: Sat Feb 09, 2008 3:53 pm    Post subject: Canadians Reply with quote

If this wasn't close to the truth it would be funny....



The ant & the grasshopper......

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a

fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the

ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so

he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his

house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a

fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the

ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why

the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less

fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper,

with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table

laden with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor

grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of

the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special

from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall

Overcome."

Jack Layton rants in an interview with Mike Duffy that the ant has gotten

rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on

the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Conservative Government drafts the Economic Equity

and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the

summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire

grasshoppers as helpers.

Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed

retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US, and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the

ant's food, though spring is still months away, while the government house

he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around

him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Bob Rae is appointed to head a

commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames

it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair

arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised

by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who

promptly set up a marijuana grow op and terrorize the community.

THE END

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
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