New Minnesota based airline.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
New "Lutheran Airlines" Now Operating. WE ARE PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE LUTRAN VIKING AIR IS NOW OPERATING IN MINNYSOTA, AND ALSO SERVING WISCONSIN, NORT AND SOUT DAKOTA. If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran Viking Air, da no-frills airline. You're all in da same boat on Lutran Air, vare flyin is an upliftin experience.

Dere is no First Class on any Lutran Viking Air flight. Meals are potluck. Rows 1-6, bring rolls; 7-15, bring a salad; 16-21, a main dish, and 22-30, a dessert. Basses and tenors please sit in da rear of da aircraft.

Everyone is responsible for his or her own baggage. All fares are by free vill offering and a plane vill not land 'til da budget is met. Pay attention to your flight attendant, who vill acquaint you wit da safety system aboard dis Lutran Viking Air 599. Okay den, listen up. I'm only gonna say dis vonce. In da event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, I am frankly going to be real surprised and so vill Captain Olson,because ve fly right aroun two tousant feet, so loss of cabin pressure vould probably mean da Second Coming or someting of dat nature, and I wouldn't bodar wit doze liddle masks on da rubber tubes. You're gonna have bigger tings to worry about den dat. Just stuff doze back up in dair little holes. Probably da masks fell out because of turbulence, which to be honest wit you, ve're going to have quite a bit of at two tousand feet, sorta like driving across a plowed field, but after a while you get used to it.


In da event of a water landing, I'd say forget it. Start saying da Lord's Prayer and just hope you get to da part about forgiff us our sins as we do doze who sin against us, which some people say "trespass against us," which ain't right, but what can you do? Uff da!

Da use of cell phones on da plane is strictly forboten, not because day may confuse da plane's navigation system, which is seat-av-da-pants all da vay. No, it's because cell phones are a pain in da wazoo, and if God meant you to use a cell phone, he would have put your mout on da side of your head.

Ve start lunch right about noon and it's buffet style wit da coffee pot up front. Den ve'll have da hymn sing; hymnals are in da seat pocket in front of you. Don't take yours wit you ven you go or I am going to be real upset and I am not kiddin! Right now I'll say Grace:
"Come, Lord Jesus, be our guest, and let deze gifts to us be blessed. Fadar, Son, and Holy Ghost, May ve land in Dulut or pretty close."

"A t'ousand Svedes runnin' t'rough da veeds, chased by vun Norvegian!" comes to mind!