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DON'T FART IN BED
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13633
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Sep 24, 2007 9:44 pm    Post subject: DON'T FART IN BED Reply with quote

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years.

The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habits of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake the wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Fart

Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and it was perfectly natural.

She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out.

The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Fart

Then one Christmas morning as she prepared the turkeyfor dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl whereshe had put the turkey innards, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her. Wink Twisted Evil

She took the bowl and went up stairs where her husband was sound asleep and gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Sometime later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. Fart Shocked

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! Laughing

After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minute later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter.

He said "Honey, you were right. All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."

"What do you mean?" asked the wife

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline, and these two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!"
wtf Yuck Yuck Embarassed Misc Nuts Insane


Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5871
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 1:19 am    Post subject: Re: DON'T FART IN BED Reply with quote

Shocked Shocked Confused wtf Yuck scared

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Weinbender
Member
Member


Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 7:35 am    Post subject: Re: DON'T FART IN BED Reply with quote

Shocked haha! ive heard this one before!

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shrpshtrjoe
Super Red Neck Member
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2955
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Tue Sep 25, 2007 4:41 pm    Post subject: Re: DON'T FART IN BED Reply with quote

Thats a good one Faint
Joe

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