HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: CGSEAL
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12393

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 181
BOT: 5
Total: 186
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Photo Albums
02: Forums
03: News
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Your Account
14: Forums
15: Photo Albums
16: Forums
17: Photo Albums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Your Account
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Your Account
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Photo Albums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: News
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Photo Albums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Your Account
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Your Account
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Your Account
61: Forums
62: Forums
63: Forums
64: Forums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Forums
71: Home
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Forums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Photo Albums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Forums
90: Your Account
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Forums
95: Photo Albums
96: Forums
97: Forums
98: Forums
99: Forums
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Forums
107: Home
108: Forums
109: Forums
110: Forums
111: Forums
112: Photo Albums
113: Forums
114: Photo Albums
115: Forums
116: Your Account
117: Forums
118: Forums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Forums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Photo Albums
125: Forums
126: Photo Albums
127: Photo Albums
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Forums
131: Forums
132: Photo Albums
133: Forums
134: Photo Albums
135: Forums
136: Forums
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: Photo Albums
140: Home
141: Photo Albums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Photo Albums
145: Photo Albums
146: Forums
147: Forums
148: Photo Albums
149: Forums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Photo Albums
154: Forums
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Photo Albums
158: Photo Albums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Photo Albums
162: Forums
163: Photo Albums
164: Forums
165: Forums
166: Forums
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Photo Albums
174: Forums
175: Photo Albums
176: Forums
177: Forums
178: Photo Albums
179: News
180: Forums
181: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Photo Albums
03: Your Account
04: Home
05: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 312
 Pictures: 2417
  · Views: 263566
  · Votes: 1284
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

SHOPPER
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12853
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:35 am    Post subject: SHOPPER Reply with quote

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

• 2 litres of low fat milk,
• a carton of eggs,
• 2 litres of orange juice,
• a head of lettuce,
• half a dozen tomatoes,
• a 500g jar of coffee,
• a 250g pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" Confused


The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly." wtf Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10200
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:26 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Never thought of that. When you're my age you really have to be OOOgly to be pasted up.

Got a little more then a chuckle out of that one...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:43 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

ROFL

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: West of Here!!

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:27 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Good one....... Very Happy Very Happy I guess no matter what everyone has to eat....... Laughing Laughing

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
freedyf
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Posts: 37
Location: Idaho Falls, Idaho

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:37 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Good one, Vince. I really appreciate your humor, it's good to have an Auzzie around. Freedyf

_________________
Hold'em, squeezem - make the first shot count, you may not get seconds.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10200
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Yeah...Vince is our token Aussie. And it is nice to have him around plus the other Aussies assigned to this site...Ooops....

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12853
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:05 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Thanks guys....some would suggest that I have a terribly warped sense of humour. Laughing

But I can live with it. Very Happy Laughing Very Happy Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
popgun
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Mitchell, GA, U.S.A. (2007 pop. 191)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:41 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Yep, I would suggest that Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
But that is a great one. Only a drunk would have enough liquid fortitude to say that to a womans face regardless of her looks.

_________________
Safe shooting,
Chris Young, aka: popgun, Moderator
I don't know everything but I have made most of the mistakes already and lived through many of them.
Back to top
View user's profile ICQ Number AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.