HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: jksjk76
New Today: 2
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12569

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 44
BOT: 2
Total: 46
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Home
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Photo Albums
07: Forums
08: Your Account
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Forums
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Photo Albums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Home
34: Forums
35: Photo Albums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Home
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
  BOT:
01: Home
02: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 305
 Pictures: 2353
  · Views: 342776
  · Votes: 1306
  · Comments: 85
 

Support our Advertisers

SHOPPER
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13417
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 6:35 am    Post subject: SHOPPER Reply with quote

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:

• 2 litres of low fat milk,
• a carton of eggs,
• 2 litres of orange juice,
• a head of lettuce,
• half a dozen tomatoes,
• a 500g jar of coffee,
• a 250g pack of bacon

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the Drunk to her marital status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?" Confused


The drunk replied, "Cos you're ugly." wtf Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10450
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:26 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Never thought of that. When you're my age you really have to be OOOgly to be pasted up.

Got a little more then a chuckle out of that one...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 9:43 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

ROFL

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
1895ss
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: Not Here...!!

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 10:27 am    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Good one....... Very Happy Very Happy I guess no matter what everyone has to eat....... Laughing Laughing

_________________
A cruel truth is much more desirable than a really nice lie.
'Tis far better to walk alone than to follow a crowd or an a**hole going the wrong way.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
freedyf
Member
Member


Joined: Dec 27, 2005
Posts: 37
Location: Idaho Falls, Idaho

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:37 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Good one, Vince. I really appreciate your humor, it's good to have an Auzzie around. Freedyf

_________________
Hold'em, squeezem - make the first shot count, you may not get seconds.
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10450
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 2:57 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Yeah...Vince is our token Aussie. And it is nice to have him around plus the other Aussies assigned to this site...Ooops....

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13417
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 20, 2006 8:05 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Thanks guys....some would suggest that I have a terribly warped sense of humour. Laughing

But I can live with it. Very Happy Laughing Very Happy Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
popgun
Member
Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Mitchell, GA, U.S.A. (2007 pop. 191)

PostPosted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 9:41 pm    Post subject: Re: SHOPPER Reply with quote

Yep, I would suggest that Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy
But that is a great one. Only a drunk would have enough liquid fortitude to say that to a womans face regardless of her looks.

_________________
Safe shooting,
Chris Young, aka: popgun, Moderator
I don't know everything but I have made most of the mistakes already and lived through many of them.
Back to top
View user's profile ICQ Number AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.