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Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Super Member
Super Member

Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13304
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 23, 2006 8:04 am    Post subject: PRESEDENTIAL CANDIDATE 2008 Reply with quote


Here we are already discussing the future President of the United States in the Year 2008. Well, I have my own candidate and I'm sure that once you know who I'm for, you will also agree.

For those of you who would like another choice for President, I have the best solution:
It is probably time we have a woman as President. My choice, and I hope yours as well, is a very special Lady that has all the answers to our problems.
PLEASE give it a thought when you have a moment....


Maxine on "Driver Safety"
"I can't use the cell phone in the car. I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.".......

Maxine on "Life"
"Life is like an oven. It burns my ass!"

Maxine on "Housework"
"I do my housework in the nude. It gives me an incentive to clean the mirrors as quickly as possible."

Maxine on "Lawn Care"
"The key to a nice-looking lawn is a good mower. I recommend one who is muscular and shirtless."

Maxine on "The Perfect Man"
"All I'm looking for is a guy who'll do what I want, when I want, for as long as I want, and then go away. Or wait nearby, like a Dust Buster, charged up and ready when needed."

Maxine on "Technology Revolution"
"My idea of rebooting is kicking somebody in the butt twice."

Maxine on "Aging"
"Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a Margarita."


Never read the fine print. There ain't no way you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella, then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age are urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

To err is human, to forgive - highly unlikely.

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Porsche than a Kia.

Drinking makes some husbands see double and feel single.

After a certain age, if you don't wake up aching somewhere, you may be dead. (So true!)


If you don't forward this to ten of your friends within the next five minutes,
your belly button will fall off. Really... it's true! Have I ever lied to you?

There's no one better for the job!!!



Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Rookie Member
Rookie Member

Joined: Mar 24, 2006
Posts: 8
Location: NE South Dakota

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2006 7:59 pm    Post subject: Re: PRESEDENTIAL CANDIDATE 2008 Reply with quote

I go along with your choice for President. Maxine would do a great job and she wouldnt care who she offended and would speak her mind. So I think we should back her for the job, best candidate we have.

Enjoy the outdoors and PASS IT ON!
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