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Some times it pays
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Tremblay
Super Member
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 1525
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 9:23 am    Post subject: Some times it pays Reply with quote

LAST KISS

Last week, a group of bikers were riding west on I-90 to Sturgis when they saw a girl about to jump off the Fort Pierre Bridge . So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!" While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?" So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one. After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?" "My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl." It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed.



Last week, a group of bikers were riding west on I-90 to Sturgis when they saw a girl about to jump off the Fort Pierre Bridge . So they stopped.
George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says,
"Hey Baby.....whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"
She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!"
While he didn't want to appear "sensitive," George also didn't want to miss this "be-a-legend" opportunity either so he asked ..."Well, before you jump, Honey-Babe...why don't you give ole George here your best last kiss?"
So, with no hesitation at all, she leaned back over the railing and did just that ... And it was a long, deep, lingering kiss followed immediately by another even better one.
After they breathlessly finished, George gets a big thumbs-up approval from his biker-buddies, the onlookers, and even the State Trooper, and then says,
"Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had, Honey! That's a real talent you're wasting, Sugar Shorts. You could be famous if you rode with me. Why the hell are you committing suicide?"
"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."
It's still unclear whether she jumped or was pushed

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Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark Twain
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2014 5:39 pm    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

I like the first one better.....




Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10241
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 8:28 am    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

Me too. (?)

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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pete4d
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 27, 2011
Posts: 364
Location: Dixie , Alabama , & Louisiana

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 1:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

I see that he's not smiling, You're sure he didn't jump too ?

_________________
"march to the sound of the guns and shoot everyone not dressed like you"--D I 1968

When the SHTF I'm gonna hunker down until all those idiots kill each other.

I'm on the watch list are you ?
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12972
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 5:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

wtf Yuck BLEEEUUUURRRRCCCHHHHH burr

I can assure you totally that he/she WOULD NOT have jumped, in fact the throw would have been good enough to land at least 10 metres out from the bridge. Very Happy Very Happy

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1091
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 12:50 am    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

That was bloody funny!
I followed a Hells Angel today in my truck and wanted to run him off the road.... Nat wouldn't let me! Unfortunately for me I have an almost pathological hatred of gang members, must have something to do with my upbringing.

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6874
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 2:05 am    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

you arent alone in that Bud.....

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12972
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun May 04, 2014 4:19 am    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

Move to Queensland mate...no more bikies or gangs.

Google the VLAD laws over here.

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1091
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 05, 2014 9:55 pm    Post subject: Re: Some times it pays Reply with quote

You Aussies won't let me bring my toys, pump gun and semi auto .22, but yeah the Queensland Police gotta be the biggest Gang in Queensland, if you can't beat them change the rules........ It's about the only politics I like.

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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