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Men Vs. Woman
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Dimitri
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Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

Teachers are not allowed to have knives here ether as its a school policy for "everyone" but at the high schools I went to many teachers had knives, and as long as you didn't act like a idiot with it no one said anything. Smile

The small cheaper Finger print reading machines that they have embedded into laptops etc can be bypassed/cheated and/or simply outright not work at all, specialized finger print machines that exist but cost a small fortune cannot be fooled.

Dimitri

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Pumpkinslinger
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 8:16 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

The company I work for went to a fingerprint reader as a time clock. Talk about aggravating! I'd say it didn't work about 20-25% of the time. And I kept telling people "This is what they want to do to home defense guns!"

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gelandangan
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

Well, guys.. there is fingerprint readers and there is fingerprint readers..

Again you cant judge one for the other.

As I said, I use biometry at home (front door, backyard and car) and it works flawlessly.
The trouble is I reckon that the system is not yet user friendly enough so like Pumps complained, it works 20-25% at a time.

Also, there is plenty of older obsolete technology there that could be easily circumvented like the what the myth buster morons do.
They are known to make mistake (about guns explosives etc) by generalization of things (over simplification).
Here they made generalisation of technology that is evolving DAILY..

So there.

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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 4:07 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

I like women that use minimal makeup. Painted floozies are not attractive. In my opinion, women that wear tons of makeup are either insecure with themselves or too prone to following fads. One thing that I think looks ugly is these loose baggy, low cut pants; worn with a tight tee shirt that shows the mid drift. Let’s face it, very few women look good wearing things like that, but it's the fad. I'm like Bushy, I like women to be frilly and feminine, perhaps it's a generational thing. My wife is one of the frilly ones, but she will check the cattle when I'm not there, and even pull a calf if need be. She'll check the water troughs and take care of the chickens. I do insist that she does no hard outdoor work. I won't even let her mow the lawn, with my big riding lawn mower. She will sit and talk to me while I work in my welding shop and bring me glasses of iced tea on hot days. She loves the ranch life and holds down a 9 to 5 high paying big corporate job. She's quite a lady.

I guess because of my wife, we do the electronic banking thing. We pay all of our bills on-line. We both carry cell phones. Both of us have to for work. I'm always on call, just in case one of my clients have an environmental accident (spills mostly), so I need to stay in touch with the world. Although, I've never, in the last 8 years been called out on an environmental emergency.

As far as carrying a knife, I do when I feel like it. I'm more likely to carry a pistol, if I carry anything at all. I've, almost always, got some form of weapon in my vehicle.

We still have merchants down here that don't take credit or debit cards. So I carry cash in my wallet most of the time. I have a debit card that I will use, but I don't use a credit card much. I'd prefer to pay my way as I go.

Cary

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 07, 2008 6:12 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

I carry my wallet, keys, very rarely loose change, a chapstick, belt folding knife, 9mm X 19 (summer) CCW or .357 magnum (winter) CCW and an extra magazine or looped rounds. I rarely carry money or just what I need for the day. I rarely use my plastic. I'm more of a "cash and carry" kinda guy. If I wanted my wife to carry anything in her purse I'd have to dump it out. I really can't fathom all the things she carries in there and a few years ago I really didn't want to find out what she had in there.. Embarassed ..My wife feeds the inside stock and I feed the outside stock, but will feed the outside stock if I'm detained for whatever reason...

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hunterjoe21
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:00 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

hunterjoe21 wrote:
Reminds me of the "best" bad joke ever told...

Why do women wear make-up and perfume?....

No one gonna offer?

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:09 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

I, for one, don't have the slightest idea why they wear makeup...Most men, including me, don't like it. Some have soo much perfume on that one would think they took a bath in the stuff. Sure messes with my sinuses...Some made up women remind me of a 2 bit who...Aah...Never mind.. Embarassed ..Always been afraid if I was to kiss one with all that grease on their face I would slide off their face and hurt myself...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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rdncktink
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 9:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

Well I'm going to lose my womens card but I agree with ya Mr. Bushmaster on the 2 bit .... part. I just don't get it. And most thing women do is for the benifit of other women not men.

And I do have to say that some men wear as much perfume/sented stuff as women. Around here it's normaly the "cowboys" too. Can smell them coming and 10 minutes after they leave. Too many in a room and I end up with a headach.

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Vince
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 6:46 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

Well...my missus carries only what she needs in her bag, and that's never very much. Also, she very rarely, if ever , wears any makeup...she is perfect without the stuff. I bought her a 1/4 oz bottle of Chanel #5 concentrate about 20 years ago in Germany and there is still half of it left. The only reason it was used at all is because one of my daughters liked it.

One of my daughters has a friend who looks like she has spent a couple of hours in a body shop before she goes out...her face looks like it has half a kilo of body filler on it, or half a dozen tubes of Poly Filla !! Then a quick spray paint job. Looks bloody terrible, but I'd never hurt her feelings by saying so.

The last bottle of aftershave I got was about 10 years ago...and its is still 1/3 full. Although, I must admit, I am a sucker for a woman wearing Chanel Allure perfume....MMMMMMM, and I also like the homme version (for men) eau de toilette, although over here it is $125 for a small bottle, but you only need a small amount.

As for money...if I don't have the cash, then I obviously can't afford it. Only place I use plastic is online, and that is only a couple of times a year.

Cheers, Vince

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Pumpkinslinger
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 6:51 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

I have been known to send my daughter back into the house, after we got in the car to go someplace, to "Go wash that stinkin' stuff OFF!" Luckily a couple years of maturing fixed the problem!

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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
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Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:00 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

rdncktink,

Most of the cowboys I know of around here could use a little toilet water. Of course I don't get offended by the smell of cow sh*t either.

I was drinking coffee with a bunch of outlaws last week when I noticed that one of them had specks of concrete on his face (mind you, this is the morning after). I asked him how his concrete job turned out. He gave me a funny look and asked me how I knew he was pouring concrete. I told him that I had this nack for reading minds. He gave me a funny look; I never told him about the concrete on his face and the rest of the crew was pretty good at keeping a straight face. We had a good laugh after he left.

Cary

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 11:06 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

Horse dung and sweat aren't that bad either...For deoderent anyway. Honest sweat is O K with me as long as by morning it's gone. And it's time to put on a fresh coat with labor around the place...I hate the smell of diesel fuel and I worked with it for over 40 years.

Cary...It's fun to be "perceptive" when others are not...

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 09, 2008 2:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

I only put on Old Spice after shave when I shave, never any deorderant or cologne. Laughing

Dimitri

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OntheLasGallinas
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 10:29 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

Aah, the sweet smell of horse dung!!

I was working as a consultant for an Valero Environmental Super Fund cleanup site last month when one of the irrigation motors set up to irrigate the grass cover for the project shifted from its level position (darn gopher). Since it was only about 20 miles from my ranch shop, I ran over there to pick up my high-lift tractor jack to use in leveling the engine. My passenger was a Valero employee that was in charge of the project. He was dressed in a white shirt, slacks, and dress shoes (Not the boots that I consider dress shoes, but the low cut kind). You get the picture, an office worker from the city. When I pulled up to the front of my shop (a place where some of my cattle love to hang out in the shade), he opened the door and stepped in (about) a 10 pound fresh cow pie. He hopped around there on one leg hollering, on the verge of gagging, the whole time I was looking for my jack. I was totally amused. I guess he never did that before!

Cary

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tracker
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:27 am    Post subject: Re: Men Vs. Woman Reply with quote

OK, enough of this, why hunterjoe? (remember folks, all I did was ask)

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