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Washing the Cat
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13021
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 5:38 pm    Post subject: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Following the Dog/Cat Diary, as an ongoing tribute to our friend the cat, I offer the following enjoyable bathing procedure for him.
Very Happy Laughing Very Happy Laughing Very Happy Laughing

1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.

3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
Very Happy

4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. (You may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape.)
wtf Mad

CAUTION : Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this. Gentlemen...it is STRONGLY recommended that you DO NOT sit on the lid at this time as "dangly" bits can, and will, become a target for the cat.
Mad Laughing

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "powerwash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective.
Shocked Shocked Mad

6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
Very Happy Very Happy

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
Hiding

8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself.
Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Laughing ROFL Laughing Haha

Sincerely,
The Dog

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Verminator2
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Joined: Dec 30, 2006
Posts: 26

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 6:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Party ROFL ROFL
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jeh7mmmag
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Joined: Dec 24, 2006
Posts: 219
Location: DFW, TX.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 6:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Thanks for a good one. I had seen it before but you really soaped it up good. LOL

Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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Verminator2
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Joined: Dec 30, 2006
Posts: 26

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 7:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Party ROFL ROFL
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srslfrank
Rookie Member
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Joined: Jun 10, 2007
Posts: 14

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:18 am    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

You do realize that you don't have to clean the toilet first. The cat will get it quite clean.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 10:50 am    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

srslfrank. Yup, but Vince tries to not offend the pet lovers and PETA.

Welcome to this fine site...Grab a beer and sit a spell. Join in too. We hunt and fish here and when not doing that, we entertain each other...

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rdncktink
Super Member
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 1:06 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

If the cat's to big to close the lid like mine is toss them in the shower with some soap, close the door (hope you have a glass door), turn on the shower, and plug the drain. By the time the cat reaches the top of the door they'll be nice and clean.

For hamsters place them in their hamster ball. Once they are nicely in there place them on the top rack (since they're small) of the dishwasher in light was non-heated.

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keetoowah
Super Member
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 8:46 am    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

omg that was toooooo funny.
had a cat that would get in the shower with me. come to think about so does my dog when he was smaller. now have to wash him outside with the horse and llamas.
my lab/wolf mix wont get near water.

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WileyWapiti
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Joined: Jan 04, 2006
Posts: 298
Location: NW Colorado

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 11:28 am    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Vince, I have to say - we may be related! When I was about 12 or 13, my mom had bought both my sister and I cats, my cat mostly stayed outside killin' snakes, field mice and baby rabbits and liked pestering the horses, my sisters cat was as dumb as a post. I decided to mess with her one day so I let her watch me walk into the bathroom with my cat, I flushed the toilet for effect and walked out with the cat wrapped in a towel and told my siter "Well, I gave my cat a bath!", my sister was only 4 at the time, she scooped up her cat and dunked the poor thing right in there and flushed the toilet, my dad was laughing too hard at the sight of this cat, whiskers all drooped, to give chase and punish me.......the good old days!

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tracker
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Oh I like this, bath time for kitty!

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Bushmaster
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10262
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 1:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Recommended you wear leather gloves...

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LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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1895ss
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 21, 2005
Posts: 2613
Location: West of Here!!

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 3:42 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

I think the waters not deep enough ........... Shocked Surprised Smile

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rdncktink
Super Member
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Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Tue Jul 03, 2007 4:49 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Recommended you wear leather gloves...

And full face mask with kneck guard is helpful too.

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tracker
Super Member
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Joined: Nov 08, 2006
Posts: 1175
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 1:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

The cat enjoyed it so much she's still howling her appreciation, think I'll give the dog a turn at it this evening... Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5702
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Jul 04, 2007 4:04 pm    Post subject: Re: Washing the Cat Reply with quote

Why bother wash them? their skin are too small and fur are too short for anything useful. Just shoot em!!

But I must admit, it is easier to take care of the carcass if they are clean, and a clean toilet bowl is a bonus indeed Very Happy

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