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Man Flu? Fact?
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14116
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 12:13 am    Post subject: Man Flu? Fact? Reply with quote

"Contains No Artificial Comfort or Sympathy"

Man Flu - The Facts...

1. Man-Flu is more painful than childbirth. This is an irrefutable scientific fact*.
*(Based on a survey of over 100,000 men.)

2. Man-Flu is not 'just a cold'. It is a condition so severe that the germs from a single Man-Flu sneeze could wipe out entire tribes of people living in the rainforest. And probably loads of monkeys too.

3. Women do not contract Man-Flu. At worst they suffer from what is medically recognised as a 'Mild Girly Sniffle' – which, if a man caught, he would still be able to run, throw a ball, tear the phone book in half and compete in all other kinds of manly activities.

4. Men do not 'moan' when they have Man-Flu. They emit involuntary groans of agony that are entirely in proportion to the unbearable pain they are in.

5. Full recovery from Man-Flu will take place much quicker if their simple requests for care, sympathy and regular cups of tea are met. Is that really so much to ask? Florence Nightingale would have done it.

6. More men die each year from MFN (Man-Flu Neglect) than lots and lots of other things. (Like rabbit attacks or choking on toast).

7. Men suffering from Man-Flu want nothing more than to get out of bed and come to work, but they are too selfless to risk spreading this awful condition amongst their friends and colleagues. In this sense, they are the greatest heroes this country has ever known.

8. In 1982 scientists managed to simulate the agonising symptoms of full blown Man-Flu in a female chimp. She became so ill that her head literally fell off.

9. Man-Flu germs are more powerful than He-Man, The Thundercats and The A-Team combined. They are too strong for weak, nasty tasting 'lady medicines' like Lemsip, so don't bother trying to force them on a victim of Man-Flu.

10. While it may seem like a Man-Flu sufferer is just lying around enjoying 'Diagnosis Murder' it is a commonly recognised medical fact that the exact pitch and frequency of Dick Van Dyke's voice has remarkable soothing powers.

Every minute in this country one man is struck down by Man-Flu. Women, all we ask is that each of you offers them a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together...

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7972
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 12:23 am    Post subject: Re: Man Flu? Fact? Reply with quote

its a terrible condition , even beer only takes the edge off it.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Suzanne
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:45 am    Post subject: Re: Man Flu? Fact? Reply with quote

That's the most inventive way of getting out of doing something I've ever heard of. And even a drink to go with it!!! This is where the word brilliant came from!!

Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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dhc4ever
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 26, 2011
Posts: 2517
Location: Ipswich, Queensland Australia

PostPosted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:31 pm    Post subject: Re: Man Flu? Fact? Reply with quote

Suz,
Its a well known and documented malady in the Southern Hemisphere.

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Pete

Dont do anything you wont like explaining to the paramedics..............
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