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more military tidbits
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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mikekuzara
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Joined: Sep 13, 2005
Posts: 147
Location: Farson, Wyoming

PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 9:24 pm    Post subject: more military tidbits Reply with quote

In my barracks in basic training was a poster that had the "Murphy's Laws of Combat" I can not remember them all but here are a few.

Always remember that your weapons and equipment were made by the lowest bidder

If the enemy is within range, so are you

Friendly fire...isn't

Never draw attention to yourself, there is a reason aircraft carriers are called bomb magnets

Never share a foxhole with someone braver than you

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush

And finally, a friend of mine had a brother who flew Chinook helicopters.
We were asking him about flying the things.

"can it fly on one engine?" No

"Can you auto rotate?" No

"So what do you do if an engine fails?" Well, both you and the copilot run to the back end of the chopper and stand under the rear engine.

"Is that the safest place or something?" No, but you know you are screwed, so you might as well make the crash investigators life hell trying to figure out what both pilots were doing in the back when the chopper crashed.

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Set a man on fire and he is warm the rest of his life.
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DallanC
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Joined: Jan 18, 2005
Posts: 3238
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 10:13 pm    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

Haha

My brother in Law is a Helicopter instructor in the Air Force... Hes going to think this is really funny... expecially the "go stand under the engine" part LOL


-DallanC
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13957
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 8:30 am    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

Dallan,
You might ask your bro-in-law what he considers the most important part on the chopper.

Over here the chopper jockeys say that the "Jesus Nut" is the most important. That is a big nut that supposedly holds the big fan on up top.

That thing comes loose and its a case of "Oh Jesus...we are in the poo!"

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Al_Sohlstrom
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Joined: Aug 30, 2005
Posts: 75

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 1:05 pm    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

Hi

Shocked Laughing

More rules:

If you find yourself in a fair fight, run away. Your mission failed back in the mission planning phase.

Don't stand out! In front eschelons, it draws fire. In rear eschelons, it draws sergeants.

Take more ammo! Ammunition will get you through times of no rations better then rations will get you through times of no ammunition.

The phrase, "too much ammunition," is absurd. There is no such thing.

"There are no rules in a gunfigut, right?"

HAH!!

First Rule of the Gunfight: HAVE A GUN.

Second rule of the Gunfight: Have lots of ammo. Have another gun. Have a friend with a gun and lots of ammo.

Third Rule of the Gunfight: Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice.

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At the heart of evey complex problem lies a graceful solution involving explosives.
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shrpshtrjoe
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 2954
Location: Maryland

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 3:55 pm    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Dallan,
You might ask your bro-in-law what he considers the most important part on the chopper.

Over here the chopper jockeys say that the "Jesus Nut" is the most important. That is a big nut that supposedly holds the big fan on up top.

That thing comes loose and its a case of "Oh Jesus...we are in the poo!"

Cheers, Vince

You got that right Vince I was a crew chief on the CH47 Chinook in the army and it has two jesus nut's Sad if one of those go's just put your head between your legs and well you no the rest Very Happy Very Happy
Joe

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DallanC
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Joined: Jan 18, 2005
Posts: 3238
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 4:01 pm    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Dallan,
You might ask your bro-in-law what he considers the most important part on the chopper.

Over here the chopper jockeys say that the "Jesus Nut" is the most important. That is a big nut that supposedly holds the big fan on up top.

That thing comes loose and its a case of "Oh Jesus...we are in the poo!"

Cheers, Vince


LOL I'll ask him next time I see him. He had a hard landing a couple years ago and really screwed up his back... hes trying hard to hide it because he doesnt want to be forced into early retirement with less benefits, hes only got like 3 years to go before full retirement.

Side note: 6 years ago he was stationed in Andrews and got to crew the chopper Vice Pres Gore would use to fly back and forth... man they hated Gore.
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13957
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:31 pm    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

shrpshtrjoe wrote:

You got that right Vince I was a crew chief on the CH47 Chinook in the army and it has two jesus nut's Sad if one of those go's just put your head between your legs and well you no the rest Very Happy Very Happy
Joe

Gidday Joe, Know all about the Chook....spent many hours rocking back and forth on one them. Their have been a number of occasions when I have thought "oh well put my head between my legs...." We have just recently had all of our CH47 upgraded. Haven't been on one since then but I am sure they still seem to "float" through the air. wtf

But then again as I use to say when I was Crew Commander in an M113 APC....a 2nd class ride is better than a 1st class walk 8 days a week! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13957
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 9:33 pm    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

DallanC wrote:


LOL I'll ask him next time I see him. He had a hard landing a couple years ago and really screwed up his back... hes trying hard to hide it because he doesnt want to be forced into early retirement with less benefits, hes only got like 3 years to go before full retirement.

Side note: 6 years ago he was stationed in Andrews and got to crew the chopper Vice Pres Gore would use to fly back and forth... man they hated Gore.[/quote]

I understand where he is coming from with the early retirement. I was forced out early (after 26 yrs of loyal service) with a number of injuries, 1 being my back. Tell him to hang on as much as he can....it is financially worth it in the long run.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10678
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2006 10:39 pm    Post subject: Re: more military tidbits Reply with quote

You got that right...Vince...After 22 years in the US Navy...And working for the US Navy as a civilian for another 20 years. It has been very much worth it...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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