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Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 1:38 am    Post subject: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

These are actual comments made by South Carolina Troopers that were taken off their car videos:


1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."

2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." (My Favorite)

4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT)

6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."

11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )

13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"

14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS....

16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Vince
Site Admin
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15704
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:08 am    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:47 am    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Good one Slim.

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 6396
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:57 am    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Laughing

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A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

Do - Not try!


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Tremblay
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Joined: Oct 08, 2007
Posts: 2645
Location: Malta, Montana

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 9:51 am    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

# 3 ------tea down the front again,

_________________
Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it. - Mark
Twain

Never argue with a stupid person ,cause they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twwain
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ROADJOCKY
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Joined: Jan 29, 2010
Posts: 101
Location: SOUTHERN-OHIO

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 2:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

LOL !! That should not be allowed ,it hurts their selfesteme Very Happy Very Happy
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wiersy111
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Joined: May 13, 2009
Posts: 2376
Location: Central Minnesota

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 4:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Simply awesome, I needed that laugh.

_________________
A veteran is someone who, at one point in his life wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America " for an amount of "up to and including my life."

US ARMY RETIRED

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

Being "Over the Hill" is much better then being under it!
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yorg
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Joined: Apr 19, 2011
Posts: 9
Location: North central Alberta, Canada

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 7:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Brilliant, and thanks! I'm pretty much on their side.

Georges in Alberta
If you won't stand behind our troops, then stand in front of them...
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 4:51 am    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

wiersy111, I see you change you avatar. They wear cowboy hats in Minnesota or are you a transplant?

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3323
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 6:32 am    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Great one SlimJ! I had to send that one to friends.

HI Yorg! Didn't notice you before. Have a beer on me!

Wiersy lovely hat, lovely wife, very down-home photo. By the way are you retired now?


Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1109
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

I've seen this one before and have now used a couple of the lines to wind crims up....priceless!
The traffic complaints and traffic stops for sure.

Radar

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Hahahaha-ooops! I just spit up a little.

I'm printing this up and takin' it with, tapin' it on the back of my reg's....and using next time I get yanked...maybe he'll laugh so hard he'll let me off!
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

stovey, hope you don't get to use it too often.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 6:16 am    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Since I sold the last CBR, things have settled down. Too many kook's were stackin' in the canyons. That brought the cops. I got popped a couple times for speeding draggin' knees...that was that. Fun's over. Sold my street toys. kinda miss the old days at times...not sure how many I've had over the years, but, this was my last canyon runner.
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 8314
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Apr 26, 2011 7:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Trooper Comments When Stopped for Speeding Reply with quote

Motorcycles are great! Fighter jets are another order of magnitude greater (if someone else is paying for the gas) and with jets, speed is life!! We all have to come down to earth some day. It will pass. My GTO, reloading, and long range shooting now help me find pleasures in life.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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