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Red Neck Rosetta Stone
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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RePete
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Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 777

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 4:39 pm    Post subject: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

This is from a Texan friend of mine.

Texas has compiled a liberal to Texan translation directory (AKA redneck Rosetta Stone). This should be helpful for you Californians as well as you Texans and provide a chuckle for all (You need not agree!)


CALIFORNIA TEXAS
Arsenal of Weapons Gun Collection
Delicate Wetlands Swamp
Undocumented Worker Illegal Alien
Cruelty-Free Materials Synthetic Fiber
Assault and Battery Attitude Adjustment
Heavily Armed Well-protected
Narrow-minded Righteous
Taxes or Your Fair Share Coerced Theft
Commonsense Gun Control Gun Confiscation Plot
Illegal Hazardous Explosives Fireworks for Stump Removal
Nonviable Tissue Mass Unborn Baby
Equal Access to OpportunitySocialism
Multicultural Community High Crime Area
Fairness or Social Progress Marxism
Upper Class or "The Rich " Self-Employed
Progressive, Change Big Government Scheme
Homeless or Disadvantaged Bums or Welfare Leeches
Sniper Rifle Deer Rifle w/Scope
Investment For the Future Higher Taxes
Healthcare Reform Socialized Medicine
Extremist, Judgmental, or Hater Conservative
Truants Homeschoolers
Victim or Oppressed Criminal or Lazy Good-For-Nothing
High Capacity Magazine Standard Magazine
Religious Zealot Church-going
Reintroduced Wolves Sheep and Elk Killers
Fair Trade Coffee Overpriced Yuppie Coffee
Exploiters or "The Rich " Employed or Land Owner
The Gun Lobby NRA Members
Assault Weapon Semi-Auto (Grandpa's M1 Carbine)
Fiscal Stimulus New Taxes and Higher Taxes
Same Sex Marriage Legalized Perversion
Mandated Eco-Friendly Lighting Chinese Mercury-Laden Light Bulbs

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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Very Happy I like the translation.

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4809
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:51 am    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Welcome to my world (hell).
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7151
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 7:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Sorry, great place to visit but I ...

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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4809
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 9:46 am    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

What? you wouldn't wana live where you cant buy a light bulb but you can buy pot in almost any store in Venice? Where the women dont shower or shave their pits and are more manly than the men? Where speaking English is almost illegal and will get you nowhere and to get any kind of service ya need to speak some latin or middle eastern dialect?

Aw comon.

It aint even a nice place to visit.
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1094
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 7:59 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Move you silly buggar!. LOL

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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4809
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:38 am    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

2.5 more years, bills are paid, home is sold. I'll ahve zero overhead.

Then I'm movin' into bushy's barn.
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10328
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 6:48 am    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Bring a shovel...

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4809
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:06 am    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

An' mah muckers too.... I kin shovel my weight in apples every 5 mins.
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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:13 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

In my part of the state, that's a mild translation! In the brush, we're a little more politically incorrect.

Good to see y'all are still having fun!

Cary

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10328
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Whooooop!!! Thought the pigs gotcha. Good to see that you have not lost that war [or have you?]....

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4809
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

hi Cary! Wave

Thought the same thing myself. Me n' Wiersy need to come over fer a pistols-on-the-porch-pig-poppin' fest.
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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

No more pigs......for the time being. Brought in some hog dogs in and a couple of blood thirsty nephews, and gave them hell twice a week for about 6 weeks and they left. I'm sure that they'll be back, but at least I got the satisfaction of a little pay-back.

As far as the war.....well....you win a few and you lose a few.....when it comes to hogs.

Cary

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10328
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:52 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Good to see ya up and around. Always good to see ya on here.

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4809
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 12:55 pm    Post subject: Re: Red Neck Rosetta Stone Reply with quote

Hog's is dangerous game. Out here they get over $1000.00 to hunt them on private land. They are pests, but, they wise up and move onto fenced land. Then, land owners sell tickets to hunters etc. and so on. Then there's the tusk fee- by the inch. And a dressout disposal fee. What jip. Rather take that dough and head east and visit some friends and pop some for a whole lot less.
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