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get of a DYI Aussie style.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 1:43 am    Post subject: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

A policeman in Adelaide pulled over a driver who had been weaving in and out of the traffic.

He approached the car window and said "Sir I need you to blow into this breathalyzer".

The man reaches into his pocket and produces a doctor's note.

On it was written:



"This man suffers from chronic asthma.
Do not make him perform any action that may leave him short of breath".

The policeman said "Okay then I need you to come and give a blood sample"

The man produced another letter.

This one said:

”This man is a hemophiliac.
Please do not cause him to bleed in any way".

So the officer said: "Right, I need a urine sample then".

The man produces a third letter from his pocket.

It read:


"This man plays cricket for Australia ; please don't take the piss out of him"

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 5:34 am    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha Haha

TOUCHE Radar old mate.

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
Posts: 4877
Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:13 am    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Hehehehe...

Hey do Cricket matches really go on for days atta time? I've seen the game on TV. Kinda interesting actually.

I used to have a cricket bat. Wicked weapon. Think I might get another for the truck, if I can find one.
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slimjim
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Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 8:52 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

stovepipe wrote:
Hey do Cricket matches really go on for days atta time? Kinda interesting actually.

Interesting? You can be ahead 318 to nothing after a day and a half and still suffer a loss!

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tikkat3
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Posts: 713

PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2011 11:31 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Tests go for 5 days, each side bats a couple of times.
Then one day series were introduced as a financial move.
[sorry, it was to make it interesting and get a result.]
50 overs a side.
Now there is also 20/20.
Another financial move to make it more interesting.
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 1:48 am    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

very good bud.

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tikkat3
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 2:10 am    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

The media here has killed the game.
They go headhunting every time we lose.
trying to blame one person or sensationalising trivial maters.
I tend to back the opposition teams now,
it makes it more interesting discussing a game.
And my new team tend to win more often. Ha Ha
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 3:09 am    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Well...there are many out here in Oz who would say that I am not a true blue Aussie cause I simply do not like cricket...I can't stand the game. Has to be one of the most boring games there is...it falls between watching paint dry and watching grass grow on the list of dead boring, non exciting, waste ya time things to do.

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
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Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 4:00 am    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Has to be one of the most boring games there is...it falls between watching paint dry and watching grass grow on the list of dead boring, non exciting, waste ya time things to do.

Thanks for my morning chuckle, Vince!!

_________________
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"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Elvis
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 12:00 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

yeah Vince "clickit" can be boring but when you see a batsman smash 6 after 6 or a good bowler get a hatrick(3 wickets with 3 bowls) or the score is close and the last 2 batsman just have to put the hammer down and give it everything they have,its not a bad way to spend the afternoon sitting on the couch with beer and chips.I too have been called unpatriotic for not watching sports I watch maybe 2 cricket matches a year about the same for rugby. now if the silver ferns are playing thats a different story Irene Van Dyke is great to watch at anytime.

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stovepipe
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Joined: Sep 25, 2008
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Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 2:04 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Spectator sports?

Two words:

Seven's Rugby.

Oy!
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5880
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 2:18 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Years ago, when I arrived to Oz, I ws invited to watch a cricket match.

Ysee, back in Indonesia a cricket match is some sort of a boxing match for insect.
It was interesting and exciting for a boy to watch.

Needless to say I came home swearing.

It had been years, but I still didnt get it.. Why everybody clap whether or not the ball is caught?

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13661
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 14, 2011 9:33 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

ya got me Gelan...I don't understand the game either...and the names of the various fielding positions gets me as well. I mean, what in blue blazes is a "Silly Mid On"??? Confused Confused

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1333
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:52 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Well...there are many out here in Oz who would say that I am not a true blue Aussie cause I simply do not like cricket...I can't stand the game. Has to be one of the most boring games there is...it falls between watching paint dry and watching grass grow on the list of dead boring, non exciting, waste ya time things to do.

Cheers, Vince

Heathen Bonk Very Happy
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1108
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 8:02 pm    Post subject: Re: get of a DYI Aussie style. Reply with quote

Elvis, if you like watching Irene playing netball I suggest you try watching womans hockey, sounds bad but they are 90% hotties, and its fast and furious.

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