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The Rabbit!!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14010
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 5:46 am    Post subject: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.'

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down

The next night there is standing room only in the pub.

Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman,

The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties...'

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, 'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.'

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.'

The masses' bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.'

'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.'

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He then waves to the crowd and leaves....

NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

-----
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, 'Who are you?',

To which he is answered,

'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.'

The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'

The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.'

The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.'

The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.

The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?'

'I DIED', said the rabbit.

'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?'

After a short pause, the rabbit said...


'Mixin-me-toasties.'


I knew you’d love it!!

I only send you the best ones.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Ominivision1
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 6:23 am    Post subject: Re: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

Faint

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4554
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:04 am    Post subject: Re: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

I'm afraid that there is an Australian slant to this that went right by me...

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

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TRBLSHTR
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1071
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 9:28 am    Post subject: Re: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

wtf Jaw Drop Help

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"Tolerance becomes a crime when applied to evil." Thomas Mann
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7846
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:25 pm    Post subject: Re: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

mexamatosis is a rabbit killing disease carried by fleas.

A car load of models were cruising along a back country road when a rabbit ran under the car CRUNCH THUD screech of brakes.
out jumped the models to see the rather large hare kicking out his last."quick give it mouth to mouth" one says
they try it no result
then one of the kiwi lasses grabs a spray can from here handbag and spraYs it all over the poor creature. Up it jumps and off it goes for about 10 yrds then stops turns around and shakes its paw waving to the lasses, away for another ten yrds then does the same again, all the way till its out of view.gobsmacked a model turns to the smiling kiwi beauty and asks WTF? wtf wtf
'Its hair reviver with a PERMANENT WAVE' Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
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Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4554
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2011 1:49 pm    Post subject: Re: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

Thanks Elvis! And I like your joke too!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

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English Mike
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1375
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 3:40 pm    Post subject: Re: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

Vince - mate - you really do deserve severe PUNishment for that. Razz
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14010
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 12:41 am    Post subject: Re: The Rabbit!! Reply with quote

Why thank you Mike...I do have to maintain the Sickest Joke standard mate. Very Happy Very Happy Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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