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UNREAL WIT
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13375
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:22 pm    Post subject: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

The new Government in Egypt has asked the city's taxi drivers to drive around Cairo sounding their car horns.

It is hoped these and other familiar sounds of the city will induce a return to tranquility and normality.
*
*
*
Operation Toot 'n Calm 'Em will last for the rest of the week.

Razz Razz Razz Laughing Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Mar 02, 2011 6:52 pm    Post subject: Re: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

very good

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Aloysius
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Joined: Nov 03, 2009
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Location: B., Belgium

PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 2:22 am    Post subject: Re: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

strange... in a city where they don't use the car's lights during night because it might spoil the battery, asking to blow the horn during the day...?
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
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Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:33 am    Post subject: Re: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

Ok, Aloys. There must be more to the story. Tell us more! Have you experienced Cairo?

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"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

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Aloysius
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 6:04 am    Post subject: Re: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

There is no story. Unless they changed their habits last 10-15 years, they do drive their cars in Cairo at night without using their lights. Only occasionally (when they think or get a sign from above or beneath that somebody is crossing the street) they blink a beam.
They have another culture you know... I've seen a car hit a guy on a camel in the middle of the desert. There was only 1 road, about 2 or 3 cars and 1 camel and the cameldriver seemed to get some internal force to cross that road right in front of a car. The way that cameldriver was flying didn't predict anything good for his health...
Or what about a taxi-driver driving from Cairo-airport to the city, crossing several red trafficlights without even slowing down a bit and then stop for a green light. When I asked why he simply said that was a dangerous crossing because his brother died there...
In my opinion: some might like the old treasures and monuments, but I sure didn't like all the dirt and all those little creatures that makes you sh.t like a jet engine...
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10436
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:28 am    Post subject: Re: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

Well...Now...That's a story....

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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
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Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 6:29 pm    Post subject: Re: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

Aloysius wrote:
I sure didn't like all the dirt and all those little creatures that makes you **** like a jet engine...

The Mummy's revenge!!! Thanks for the story Aloys!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13375
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: UNREAL WIT Reply with quote

Aloys wrote:
...but I sure didn't like all the dirt and all those little creatures that makes you sh.t like a jet engine...

That is not a pretty mental picture...but it does bring to mind a joke I heard as a young fella...

Two guys, Slim and Stovey, who worked for QANTAS in San Francisco, heard a rumour that the extra special fuel they used for these new fangled jet engines was a form of strong alcohol. Guys being guys thought, "hey, wonder what this stuff is like to drink?" To cut a long story short, they "liberated" a couple litres, went home and had a night on the turps. At the end of the night, they both went their separate ways a little the worse for wear...but happy.

In the morning Slim gets a call from Stovey..."hey mate, how are ya feeling?"
Slim says "not too bad mate, bit of a head ache, but apart from that pretty good".

Stovey says, "have ya farted yet this morning" Fart

Slim says... "nope, why is that mate?"

Stovey says... "DON'T do it mate".... "I climbed out of bed this mornin' fellin' good, scratched my nether regions and ripped off my usual raucous bottom burp (just to wake the missus Very Happy ) Fart Very Happy Razz Shocked Shocked and the next thing I know I landed in a heap in Sacramento!!" Confused wtf Shocked Shocked Shocked

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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