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Larry's Proverbs
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13144
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:28 am    Post subject: Larry's Proverbs Reply with quote

Larry's Proverbs


1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm .

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture most people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the hell happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3263
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:41 am    Post subject: Re: Larry's Proverbs Reply with quote

That was a good un Vinnie!! (most are)

Suz

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May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7133
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:52 am    Post subject: Re: Larry's Proverbs Reply with quote

These are great!! Thanks, Vince!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Ominivision1
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Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2985
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 12:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Larry's Proverbs Reply with quote

Smile Smile Good one Vince.

_________________
Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Elvis
Super Member
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7030
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Larry's Proverbs Reply with quote

AWESOME my good man keep them coming.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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