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Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Ominivision1
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 5:51 am    Post subject: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who`s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I`m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it`s the minister`s turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary`s for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a taxi-driver, and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he drove, people prayed."

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 7:35 am    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

If anyone has ever been in a taxi in New York or Olongapo. This joke really has meaning.

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OBOne
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:08 am    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

So Youv'e been in Olongapo hey Bushy? Stood Shore Patrol there. Fished a Marine out of S&*T river. I wonder if it's still there and still as wild and good as it was in the 70s?
OB
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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:22 am    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

Been to Olongapo twice. Late 60's and mid 70's Both times my ship home ported out of there during West-pac. Not to mention many other countries of the Western Pacific from Austrailia to Valstad (in the Bering Sea).

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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44marty
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 7:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

NICE - I used to drive a taxi in Boston. One of the benefits of having a taxicab is that when you lean on the horn and floor it, traffic clears out of the way. I guess folks know that since it isn't the driver's car, he doesn't mind a few dents.
I'll bet there was plenty of praying.

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Tremblay
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 11:01 am    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

Good one ....

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slimjim
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 8:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

OV1, that provide a good chuckle!

Olongapo, boy I haven't heard that town spoken in quite some time! You, didn't take anything with you off-base that you didn't want to lose. You haven't seen rain until you've been in the Phillipines! The rain was so heavy it would strip the paint of my jet and cause the radar altimeter to read 0 altitude. Every thing would become covered with mold. Then the bats, they would darken the sky at night with their 3' wingspan. Haircuts where 50 cents and you had to make sure you avoided the monkey troops when your ran through the jungle.

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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 13, 2011 10:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

I was on an ammunition ship (with "special" weapons on board). We had to birth way out in the boonies. When ever I missed the van headed for town I would walk (or jog) to the Weapons Depot gate carrying a "monkey stick". A small base ball bat.

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I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Aloysius
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 1:25 am    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

SJ, you have been to the Phillipines too?
That's the only time I saw in a restaurant a rat that couldn't wait to look at the menu till eveyone had finished eating. That rat went close to the ceiling from table to table and had a good look at what guests were eating. Never seen such a healphy rat (and also never seen such frightened personnel Smile )
But at that time there was no rain, I only could see the results of their wind and I think people for telephone and electricity-lines will never be out of work there.
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slimjim
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:24 am    Post subject: Re: Taxi Driver at the Pearly Gates. Reply with quote

Yep, when the monsoon rains come, it keeps them working on roads, power, and communication lines for the rest of the year. I haven't been there in 20 years. The Philipines "bit the hand that feed them" when they forced the US bases to close down. That was most of their economy. A very beautiful country when you get into the remote sections.

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