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Native American trades
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13632
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:27 am    Post subject: Native American trades Reply with quote

An old Native American wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Take jewelry to city and sell it," said the old man.

"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.

"Don't know of collateral."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"I don't know; it has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the old man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put it in my pocket."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked.

"I don't know of deposit."

"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7555
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 3:37 am    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
The old Indian leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"

Good Point!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Suzanne
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Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 7:42 am    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Banker; Well it's a service we provide for you to keep your money safe and we even give you .01 percent interest.
Indian; Hhhmmm sound good. I should tell my wife mabee she make more blankets to sell.
Banker; We welcome all the money you can get. If you can get at least $5000 then we won't even charge you to deposit it in our bank.
Indian; Don't know charge.,
Banker; Well if you don't have enough money to deposit, then we charge you $5 a month to keep the money here.
Indian; You think I just crawled over the fence?


Suz

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Vince
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 8:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

You know what Suz...if that wasn't true it would actually be quite funny mate.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

BANKER??? Rymes with something else with a simalar meaning, cant quite think what it is???

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slimjim
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 2:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

A boat anchor?

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Vince
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 5:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

slimjim wrote:
A boat anchor?

Laughing Laughing Laughing

Nah...they ain't heavy enough Slim. Maybe I will have to run through the alphabet to find a word that rhymes with BANKER.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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slimjim
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Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:33 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
Maybe I will have to run through the alphabet to find a word that rhymes with BANKER.

Anchor
Cranker (person who started old cars)
Flanker (This is a MiG)
Gangster
Hanker (as in hankering for something)
Klanker (old car)
Maker
Planker (installer of floors
Tanker (versions of which frequent the sea, land, and air)
Zanker (???)

Guess you need to do it in Australian English

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Vince
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 8:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Hm...now lets see...

Lanker - a tall guy maybe...NAH
Manker (manky) someone gross...NAH
Ranker - someone in the Defence Force with rank...NAH
W and Y - both seem to fit, and seem to have similar meanings...YEP, must be them. Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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44marty
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Joined: Mar 20, 2009
Posts: 775
Location: Cheshire, MA; USA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 9:28 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Yeah, W came to mind immediately.

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Suzanne
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Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Hey Marty!! Great Avatar!!

Suz

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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7555
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 5:35 am    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Yeh, marty! Great job on the avatar conversion! I see you have your hands full keeping the suiters at bay.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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44marty
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Joined: Mar 20, 2009
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Location: Cheshire, MA; USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 2:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

slimjim wrote:
Yeh, marty! Great job on the avatar conversion! I see you have your hands full keeping the suiters at bay.

Thanks to Vince for converting the photos to avatars.

No suitors any more. Two daughters married and one recently engaged. I must have made an impression on the suitors. All three asked my permission before proposing.

Oh, here are some photos of my eldest daughter as well:



The three girls:



and at Lisa's wedding:


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The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling

I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!!
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7555
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 3:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

Great Pics and wonderful family, marty! Thanks for sharing.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
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Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2011 7:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Native American trades Reply with quote

thankyou for sharing they look like fine young lasses you must have done a great job of bringing them up. Ifn they are all getting married off you will have some hunting time to spare before they present you with grandkids to spoil rotton and take hunting.

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