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Older Than Dirt.
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Ominivision1
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 2:19 pm    Post subject: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'


'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,' I informed him.


'All the food was slow.'
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'


'It was a place called "at home", I explained. !

'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis , set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

In their later years, they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died..

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow).

We didn't have a television in our house until I was 10.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.

I was 9 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.'
When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too.. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

I never had a telephone in my room.
The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers --my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning

On Saturday, he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

MEMORIES from a friend :

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it... I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall..
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.

Older Than Dirt Quiz :

Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about.

Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum & Teaberry also (my favs)
2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were t here until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels [if you were fortunate])
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S& H greenstamps
16. Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25.. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the best of my life.

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Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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chambered221
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 2:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

Gotta watch the old stuff around here Omini.........there's a few that are real sensitive to the subject !!!


I won't name any names though Poke

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~George Washington
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Ominivision1
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 3:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

ROFL ROFL ROFL Bushy wouldn't be one of them would he?

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wiersy111
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

Wow I'm not older then dirt but I guess I oughtn't tell my age.

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The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

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slimjim
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:44 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

Ominivision1 wrote:
Bushy wouldn't be one of them would he?

Yep, I think we figured out his avatar pic was taken 20 years ago.

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Elvis
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

well I got 12 and Im just a spring chicken.
how about AM radio
valve radios
paper cartridges
chopper pushbikes
standing for the national anthem.

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Vince
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:50 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

Well...I'm proud to say that I am OLDER THAN DIRT !!! I can remember a whole host of the things OV1 mentioned in there. Guess they were my "good old days".

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
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Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 9:01 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

You'll get there elvis.. dont you worry..

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A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

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Elvis
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:47 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

why thankyou kind sir. now my young dumb full of c#*~ days are beyond me I guess I may just make it.

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slimjim
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 9:14 am    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

We should have an "older than dirt" contest to see who is the most senior HuntingNut member!

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"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Bushmaster
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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 10:08 am    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

I'm the youngest one on here. I've re-entered my second childhood and lovin' it...

And the avitar is less then 8 years old. Thank you very much!!

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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diesel
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Location: Watsontown Pa.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 11:38 pm    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

I recall ALL of them, owned 2 Studebakers, one Packard, be 79 years young come May 27, still reload, shoot, hunt and ride a Honda 1500 trike, guess that's what keeps me so da&& young,
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44marty
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 5:09 am    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

Not quite as old as Diesel, the Studebakers and Packards I remember were used cars. I remember all the items on the list. This thread only belongs in the "Jokes" section for the younger members.

I remember when my parents got their first electric refridgerator - a Norge - to replace the ice box.

How about wringer washing machines? For you youngsters, these had a spin cycle that was way slow by today's standards. The clothes would still be dripping wet. The washer had a pair of powered rollers on top that you would hand feed the clothes through to wring the water out.

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The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling

I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!!
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Vince
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PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 6:47 am    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

diesel wrote:
I recall ALL of them, owned 2 Studebakers, one Packard, be 79 years young come May 27, still reload, shoot, hunt and ride a Honda 1500 trike, guess that's what keeps me so da&& young,

Diesel old mate...I salute you Salute

Marty wrote:
I remember when my parents got their first electric refridgerator - a Norge - to replace the ice box.

How about wringer washing machines? For you youngsters, these had a spin cycle that was way slow by today's standards. The clothes would still be dripping wet. The washer had a pair of powered rollers on top that you would hand feed the clothes through to wring the water out.

Marty...like you mate, I remember Mum and Dad replacing the ice box with a kerosene powered fridge, then replacing it with an electric model.

I can remember the first "washing machine" my folks had was a gas powered copper...a big copper bowl/drum arrangement, about 2 foot in diameter and about 2 foot deep. Had a gas ring under it and you put your clothes into it, filled it with water, threw in some soap and a "blue bag" (now let's see who can remember those), lit the gas and boiled the be-jesus outa everything to clean it. Your folks were lucky mate, having a POWERED wringer. The next washing machine was the wringer style... although the wringer was a hand operated wringer, commonly called a mangle. That was my job...turn the wringer while Mum fed the clothes in. Reminds me of the old saying..."Haven't laughed so hard since Granny got her breasts caught in the mangle"

Cheers, Vince

_________________
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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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44marty
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Location: Cheshire, MA; USA

PostPosted: Tue Feb 01, 2011 7:07 am    Post subject: Re: Older Than Dirt. Reply with quote

My neighbors had an old copper-drum washer. It was electric, though. You had to have a hot water supply, it didn't heat. There were two gears (power take-off style) in the base. The drum engaged one gear and was tilted at an angle when washing. Then you drained the water when done washing. Next you pulled/lifted the drum to a vertical position, where it would engage the other gear. Now it would spin faster to drain more water out. Finally, you finshed with the wringer.

Manufacturer: The Savage Arms Company

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The strength of the wolf is in the pack; the strength of the pack is in the wolf. ~ R. Kipling

I LOVE YOU, LADY LUCK !!!
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