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Words and their meanings
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14006
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:06 am    Post subject: Words and their meanings Reply with quote

*The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.*

*Here are the winners:*

1.* Cashtration*
(n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an
indefinite period of time.

2.* Ignoranus* :
A person who's both stupid and an
asshole.

3.* Intaxicaton* :
Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start
with.

4.* Reintarnation* :
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5.* Bozone* ( n.):
The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

6.* Foreploy* :
Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.

7.* Giraffiti* :
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8.* Sarchasm* :
The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9.* Inoculatte* :
To take coffee intravenously when you
are running late.

10.* Osteopornosis* :
A degenerate disease. (This one
got extra credit.)


11.* Karmageddon* :
It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like,
the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12.* Decafalon* (n.):
The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13.* Glibido* :
All talk and no action.

14.* Dopeler Effect*:
The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15.* Arachnoleptic Fit* (n.):
The frantic dance
performed just after you've accidentally walked through
a spider web.

16.* Beelzebug* (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and
cannot be cast out.

17.* Caterpallor* ( n.):
The color you turn after
finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

*The Washington Post has also published the winning
submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are
asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

And the winners are:
*
1.* Coffee*, n..
The person upon whom one coughs.

2.* Flabbergasted*, adj.
Appalled by discovering how
much weight one has gained.

3..* Abdicate*, v.
To give up all hope of ever having a
flat stomach.

4* esplanade*, v.
To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5.* Willy-nilly*, adj.
Impotent.

6..* Negligent*, adj.
Absentmindedly answering the door
when wearing only a nightgown.

7.* Lymph*, v..
To walk with a lisp.

8.* Gargoyle*, n.
Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9.* Flatulence*, n.
Emergency vehicle that picks up
someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10.* Balderdash*, n.
A rapidly receding hairline.

11.* Testicle*, n.
A humorous question on an exam.

12.* Rectitude*, n.
The formal, dignified bearing
adopted by proctologists.

13.* Pokemon*, n.
A Rastafarian proctologist.

14.* Oyster*, n.
A person who sprinkles his conversation
with Yiddishisms.

15.* Frisbeetarianism*, n.
The belief that, after death,
the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16.* Circumvent*, n.
An opening in the front of boxer
shorts worn by Jewish men


***************************************************

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7843
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 12:48 am    Post subject: Re: Words and their meanings Reply with quote

oh that last one #16 is priceless
thanks for the chuckle

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Ominivision1
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 20, 2010
Posts: 2984
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 3:57 am    Post subject: Re: Words and their meanings Reply with quote

Thats pretty good.

Vince I see that you guys down under have something to look forward to.

Free Beer

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Regards

Limitations are but boundaries created inside our minds.
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 14006
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 5:17 am    Post subject: Re: Words and their meanings Reply with quote

Works for me mate....although I don't generally drink Fosters Beer.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:05 am    Post subject: Re: Words and their meanings Reply with quote

Very cleverly funny, I had to send that one around


Thanks Vinnie!!
Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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fnuser
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 914
Location: S.W. Missouri, U.S.A.

PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 4:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Words and their meanings Reply with quote

I am pretty sure #6 leads to #4 and to this I owe my existense. Can't remember any previous lives though, must be a step up for me.

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nyasia55
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Joined: Nov 23, 2010
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:21 pm    Post subject: Re: Words and their meanings Reply with quote

The meaning of Glibido word is very perfect so many people are still present in this country they are following this way and I don't like these type of person. The meaning of Dopeler Effect is also very true.

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