HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: kiwiken
New Today: 1
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12585

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 80
BOT: 3
Total: 83
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Forums
07: Forums
08: Forums
09: Forums
10: Forums
11: Forums
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Forums
15: Home
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Forums
19: Forums
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Your Account
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Forums
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Forums
33: Forums
34: Photo Albums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Forums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Forums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Forums
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Forums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Photo Albums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Forums
61: Your Account
62: Forums
63: Photo Albums
64: Forums
65: Photo Albums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Home
69: Home
70: Forums
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Forums
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Forums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 305
 Pictures: 2357
  · Views: 356622
  · Votes: 1306
  · Comments: 85
 

Support our Advertisers

Texas Attitude
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7471
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 9:01 pm    Post subject: Texas Attitude Reply with quote

ONLY IN TEXAS...

President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. "Hello, President Obama” a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Archie, down here at Goliad , Texas , I am callin' to tell
y'all that we are officially declaring war on ya!"

"Well Archie," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"


"Right now," said Archie, after ...
a moments calculation "there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!"



Barack paused. "I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. " Mr. Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry’s John Deere tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Archie rang again about twenty minutes later.. " President Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harolds's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Well, crap," said Archie, "l'll have ta call you back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. " President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack . "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed two million prisoners.."

TEXAS CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7394
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:17 pm    Post subject: Re: Texas Attitude Reply with quote

oh boy thats good.
a great pity the land of nippon hadnt thought of that a few years back Ive just finished reading The forgotten highlander by golly thats a book worth a look we are taught in schools about the nazi holacaust but the horrors commited in the pacific get not a mention.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
hunterjoe21
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 30, 2007
Posts: 1370
Location: North Central Montana

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 7:23 pm    Post subject: Re: Texas Attitude Reply with quote

I think the last time that was posted here, Australians claimed the honors.....

_________________
My 1911 is more effective than your 911.
Back to top
View user's profile
Suzanne
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3311
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 8:29 pm    Post subject: Re: Texas Attitude Reply with quote

Good one SlimJ!!!!

Elvis is that the book that has George Bush Sr. in it as a flyer that goes down. That was a good one but I remember what the name of the book is. Lots of be-heading goin on in that one. Really creapifying stories.

Suz

_________________
May the moon keep you centered,
May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
Back to top
View user's profile
slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7471
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 9:25 pm    Post subject: Re: Texas Attitude Reply with quote

There is an "attitude" in Texas. It shows where every Texan's go. As an example, when Americans are overseas and are asked where they are from, there are two answers - most say the "United States" but if not if one is from Texas. Texan's proudly just say they are from "Texas". I don't even think twice about it.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
Back to top
View user's profile
Elvis
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7394
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed Oct 13, 2010 11:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Texas Attitude Reply with quote

suz its written byAlistair Urquart he was taken pow at singapore and worked on the railway. frigging rocked me to the core reading it I tell you.

_________________
You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
Back to top
View user's profile
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.