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For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1080
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 7:50 pm    Post subject: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

The Bacon tree

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says..........

"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."

"Is, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon.. "

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.

There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ........ every imaginable kind of cured pork.

"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."

"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."

"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."

And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,

"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"

"Luis, Luis MI amigo... what ees it? "

"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees


Ees


Ees


Ees



Ees a ham bush...."






SO SORRY, I know there is something wrong with me for sending you this. Just couldn't help it!
The little voices made me do it !!! And I bet you tried to do the accent didn't you - I know you did!

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Suzanne
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Joined: Jun 27, 2009
Posts: 3261
Location: Eugene, Oregon

PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:45 pm    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

Radar You are my HERO!!
My sister and I told that one to my family at Christmas one year.
We were the only ones that thought it was hilarious.
Yeah it was a bust.
We stood there with half-grins, waiting for the laughter.
They all looked at us like were insane, and wanted to hear the rest of the story.
It must be more fun to tell it, than it is to hear it.
I love it, screw them that don't....so there


Suz

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May the sun keep you dancing,
And the stars shed light on your dreams.
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1080
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:55 pm    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

Hey I'm glad I made at least one persons day today!

I'm working lateshift tonight fighting drunks, wife beaters and gang members so I'm sure I'll ruin a lot of peoples nights here. Take care.

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 6868
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 6:55 am    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

Thanks radar, well done! It was worth more than a few chuckles!

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"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Weinbender
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Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:19 am    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

You were right, i did try the accent thing!!! Very Happy Very Happy Very Happy

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"If it dont kick like a mule, it aint worth shooting"
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6778
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 10:57 am    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

well done Radar a good chuckle to calm the nerves. weve been woken this morning by an earthquake at 4.40 are still getting aftershocks at5.45 so are a we tad jumpy. Keep up the good fight on that thin blue line.

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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radar
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Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1080
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 1:35 pm    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

Elvis, You and your family OK? After that how can I complain about quakes. That was a real quake no doubt about it. Keep your feet on the ground.

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People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.

George Orwell
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slimjim
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Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 6868
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 1:47 pm    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

shaken not stirred! Glad you are doing ok.

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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Elvis
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Posts: 6778
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:08 pm    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

Yip Radar thanks for the concern we are fine.

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You shot it You pluck it !
Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 6778
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:08 pm    Post subject: Re: For all the gringos - The Bacon Tree Reply with quote

Yip Radar thanks for the concern we are fine.

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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