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Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10
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Dimitri
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Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 1:54 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Sorry for your loss. Sad

Dimitri

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English Mike
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Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1150
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Sat Jul 10, 2010 2:30 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Please accept my condolences for your loss Arron.

Mike
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radar
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Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 8:14 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Aaron:
Sorry for your loss.

A poem that says it all.

Miss Me, But Let Me Go.

When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in gloom-filled rooms,
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little–but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low;
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me–but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It’s all a part of the Master’s plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And busy your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me – but let me go.

Radar

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Vince
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PostPosted: Sun Jul 11, 2010 9:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Lovely words Radar...well done mate.

Cheers, Vince

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Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Arron
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Joined: Nov 20, 2006
Posts: 351
Location: Cen.Iowa, by way of SWIowa

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:31 am    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Very true! I just miss talking to her!!! This coming home to a silent apartment really BITES IT!!!! It just isn't right that I am not getting orders from her on things to do. Even as screwed up as things were it was a comfort to know she here waiting even if she was asleep!!! Wiht the FRIGGIN' Television so loud it would keep me up all night, that's why I usually slept on the couch. Ihad a meeting with my area manager and the plant HR rep about the E A P program and all. They don't want me "wigging out" at work. But my three days off for funeral leave are done now so it was back to work to pay the bills. They're still there of course. It is just this not talking to her that is really bothering me now, which makes me start to miss her all over again!

I HATE THIS!!!!!!!! OH HOW I HATE IT!!!!

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stovepipe
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Location: Pine, Az.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 2:03 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Hang in there man.

If your work sponsors it, get some therapy/counseling. Worked wonders for me when I had breakdown after losing both my folks darn near back to back. I tried to go it alone and it was making matters worse.

Best wishes bud.

-kevin.
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Donut Slayer
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Joined: Jun 27, 2007
Posts: 594
Location: Pensacola, Florida

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 4:37 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Arron, I dont know what to say. I am so sorry for your loss. Crying or Very sad

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Arron
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Location: Cen.Iowa, by way of SWIowa

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 6:07 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Yeah I made a BIG mistake today afternoon....I checked her E-Mail looking for bill information and it came back with the stuff she liked to do for fun.

It all just hit me like a ton of bricks falling on me all at once!!! I mean every brick hitting me at literally the same time!!! And it was the dang Disney Video club E-Mails that did it!!! She could not go out and play with Adrian but she could sit and watch movies with him so she got into it and it just brought back all of those memories. I was doing pretty good till that!!! I called into work and told them I was not able to make it in that i didn't think it would be safe for me today and I just couldn't do it today!!!

I mean I just about fell apart! Talked to my dad and got the heck out of here and took Adrian to the park to chase a kick ball and took along a cherry coke and two bottles of water. Was good to get out then we went for pizza tonight.
One day at a time!!! one day at a time!

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13134
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jul 13, 2010 9:27 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Excellent advice Stovey. My daughter and her three boys benefited enormously from counselling when her husband was killed.

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)


Last edited by Vince on Wed Jul 14, 2010 8:03 pm; edited 1 time in total
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stovepipe
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 7:37 am    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

I was amazed at the tools the therapist gave me to fix myself. Cognative Behaviour Therapy and the such. Didnt really needs drugs, all that much. An objective 3rd party can make a world of difference. The subconcious is tricky and all powerful. Once it gets involved it's time to get some help. PTSD is a mother.
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Arron
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Location: Cen.Iowa, by way of SWIowa

PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:48 pm    Post subject: Re: Cathy Smith 10/14/73 - 07/07/10 Reply with quote

Well today I actually "felt" good!!!! I laid my hand on the box that has her ashes inside "our" urn, and Said: "Cathy; show me what you need me to see, and Lord give the strength to notice those things, and the tools to get those things done!" And yeah I almost felt like "myself" today. I decided I needed to slow down a bit and let time take it's course and let some else take the "conn" that someone else being, God of course. Also made a call to the local chapter of Parents Without Partners and left a message for them. I am going not so much for me because I KNOW things will work out I just have slow down, but I need more tools and knowledge with which to use so that Adrian has what he needs. And yeah being around someone who has actually gone through this for dang sure wouldn't hurt me!!!! Anyway it is what it is!!!!

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