HuntingNut
HuntingNut
   Login or Register
HomeCommunity ForumsPhoto AlbumsRegister
     
 

User Info

Welcome Anonymous


Membership:
Latest: Yt_Nelson
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 12383

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 219
BOT: 3
Total: 222
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Photo Albums
02: Forums
03: PointBlank Ballistics
04: Forums
05: Forums
06: Your Account
07: Home
08: Forums
09: Members List
10: Forums
11: Home
12: Forums
13: Forums
14: Home
15: Forums
16: Forums
17: Forums
18: Home
19: Home
20: Forums
21: Forums
22: Forums
23: Forums
24: Forums
25: Your Account
26: Forums
27: Forums
28: Your Account
29: Forums
30: Forums
31: Forums
32: Photo Albums
33: Forums
34: Forums
35: Forums
36: Forums
37: Forums
38: Forums
39: Photo Albums
40: Forums
41: Forums
42: Forums
43: Forums
44: Forums
45: Photo Albums
46: Forums
47: Forums
48: Forums
49: Home
50: Forums
51: Forums
52: Forums
53: Photo Albums
54: Forums
55: Forums
56: Forums
57: Forums
58: Forums
59: Forums
60: Photo Albums
61: Forums
62: Photo Albums
63: Forums
64: Photo Albums
65: Forums
66: Forums
67: Forums
68: Forums
69: Forums
70: Your Account
71: Forums
72: Forums
73: Your Account
74: Forums
75: Forums
76: Photo Albums
77: Forums
78: Forums
79: Forums
80: Home
81: Forums
82: Forums
83: Photo Albums
84: Forums
85: Forums
86: Forums
87: Forums
88: Forums
89: Home
90: Forums
91: Forums
92: Forums
93: Forums
94: Forums
95: Forums
96: Forums
97: Photo Albums
98: Photo Albums
99: Your Account
100: Forums
101: Forums
102: Forums
103: Forums
104: Forums
105: Forums
106: Photo Albums
107: Forums
108: Forums
109: Your Account
110: Photo Albums
111: Forums
112: Forums
113: Forums
114: Photo Albums
115: Forums
116: Home
117: Forums
118: Photo Albums
119: Forums
120: Forums
121: Photo Albums
122: Forums
123: Forums
124: Forums
125: Forums
126: Forums
127: Forums
128: Forums
129: Forums
130: Photo Albums
131: Photo Albums
132: Forums
133: Photo Albums
134: Forums
135: Home
136: Forums
137: Forums
138: Forums
139: Forums
140: Your Account
141: Forums
142: Forums
143: Forums
144: Forums
145: Forums
146: Forums
147: Forums
148: Forums
149: Photo Albums
150: Forums
151: Forums
152: Forums
153: Forums
154: Your Account
155: Forums
156: Forums
157: Photo Albums
158: Forums
159: Forums
160: Forums
161: Forums
162: Forums
163: Photo Albums
164: Forums
165: Forums
166: Home
167: Forums
168: Forums
169: Forums
170: Forums
171: Forums
172: Forums
173: Photo Albums
174: Forums
175: Forums
176: Forums
177: Your Account
178: Forums
179: Forums
180: Photo Albums
181: Your Account
182: Photo Albums
183: Photo Albums
184: Forums
185: Photo Albums
186: Forums
187: Forums
188: Your Account
189: Forums
190: Forums
191: Forums
192: Forums
193: Photo Albums
194: Photo Albums
195: Forums
196: Your Account
197: Forums
198: Photo Albums
199: Photo Albums
200: Forums
201: Photo Albums
202: Forums
203: Photo Albums
204: Forums
205: Forums
206: Forums
207: Forums
208: Photo Albums
209: Forums
210: Forums
211: Forums
212: Forums
213: Photo Albums
214: Photo Albums
215: Forums
216: Forums
217: Forums
218: Forums
219: Forums
  BOT:
01: Forums
02: Forums
03: Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
 

Coppermine Stats
Photo Albums
 Albums: 312
 Pictures: 2417
  · Views: 250434
  · Votes: 1255
  · Comments: 86
 

Support our Advertisers

The Retro-sexual Male
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor

View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
radar
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 1079
Location: North Island New Zealand

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 2:26 pm    Post subject: The Retro-sexual Male Reply with quote

One for the boys today....

Retrosexuals

Something to ponder over a skinny decaf frapachino:
Please allow me to vent. I have had it. I've taken all I can stand and I
can't stand no more. Every time my TV is on, all that can be seen is
effeminate men prancing about, Dedecorating houses and talking about foreign concepts like "style" and "feng shui." Heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, transsexual, metrosexual, non-sexual; blue, green, and purple-sexual...

Real men of the world, stand up, scratch your arse, burp, and yell
"ENOUGH!" I hereby announce the start of a new offensive in the culture Wars, the Retrosexual movement."

The Code:

A Retrosexual man, no matter what the women insists, PAYS FOR THE DATE.

A Retrosexual DEALS with IT, be it a flat tyre, break-in into your home, or a natural disaster, you DEAL WITH IT.

A Retrosexual not only eats red meat, he often kills it himself.
A Retrosexual doesn't worry about living to be 90. It's not how long you live, but how well. If you're 90 years old and still smoking cigars and drinking, I salute you. If you are still having sex, you are a God.

A Retrosexual does not use more hair or skin products than a woman. Women have several supermarket aisles of stuff. Retrosexuals need deodorant and shaving gear and a tooth brush- that's it!!
A Retrosexual does not dress like a homeboy with baggy pants that look like he's shat himself, or with a gay chain from pocket to pocket. If wearing a hat, wear it correctly - not on the side like a faggot. Blokes and necklaces (unless you are an Australian fast bowler) are out!
A Retrosexual should know how to properly kill stuff (or people) if need be. This falls under the "Dealing with IT" portion of The Code.
A Retrosexual watches no TV show with "Queer" in the title.
A Retrosexual does not let neighbours screw up rooms in his house on national TV.
A Retrosexual should not give up excessive amounts of manliness for women. Some is inevitable, but major reinvention of yourself will only lead to you becoming a handbag carrying little puss, and in the long run, she ain't worth it.
A Retrosexual is allowed to seek professional help for major mental stress such as drug/alcohol addiction, death of your entire family in a freak BBQ accident, favourite sports team being moved to a different city, favourite dog expiring, etc. You are NOT allowed to see a shrink because Daddy didn't pay you enough attention. Daddy was busy DEALING WITH IT. When you screwed up, he DEALT with you.
A Retrosexual will have at least one outfit in his wardrobe designed to conceal himself from prey.
A Retrosexual knows how to tie a Windsor knot when wearing a tie -- and ONLY a Windsor knot.
A Retrosexual should have at least one good wound he can brag about getting. This does not include males who have had cosmetic surgery.
A Retrosexual knows how to use a basic set of tools. If you can't hammer a nail, or drill a straight hole, practice in secret until you can or be rightfully ridiculed for the wuss you are.
A Retrosexual knows that owning a gun is not a sign that your are riddled with fear, guns are TOOLS and are often essential to DEAL WITH IT. Plus it's just plain fun to fire one off in the direction of those people or things that just need a little "wakin' up".
Crying. There are very few reasons that a Retrosexual may cry, and none of them have to do with TV commercials, movies, or soap operas. Sports teams are sometimes a reason to cry, but the preferred method of release is swearing or throwing the remote control. Some reasons a Retrosexual can cry include (but are not limited to) death of a loved one, death of a pet (fish do NOT count as pets in this case), loss of a major body part, or loss of major body part on your Holden ute.
When a Retrosexual is on a crowded bus and or a commuter train, and a pregnant woman, heck, any woman gets on, that retrosexual stands up and offers his seat to that woman, then looks around at the other so-called men still in their seats with a disgusted "you rude pricks" look on his face.
A Retrosexual will have hobbies and habits his wife and mother do not
understand, but that are essential to his manliness, in that they offset the acceptable manliness decline he suffers when married/engaged or in a serious healthy relationship - i.e., hunting, boxing, shot putting, shooting, cigars, car maintenance and drinking piss with the boys.
A Retrosexual knows how to sharpen his own knives and kitchen utensils.
A Retrosexual man can chop down a tree and make it land where he wants. wherever it lands is where he bloody well wanted it to land. Except on his ute--that would happen because of a "force of nature", and then the retrosexual man's options are to Cry, or to DEAL with IT, or do both.
A Retrosexual will give up his seat on a bus to not only any women but any elderly person or person in military dress (except 2nd Lt's) NOTE: The person in military dress may turn down the offer but the Retrosexual man will ALWAYS make the offer to them and thank them for serving their country.
A Retrosexual man doesn't need a contract -- a handshake is good enough.
A Retrosexual man doesn't immediately look to sue someone when he does something stupid and hurts himself. We understand that sometimes in the process of doing things we get hurt and we just DEAL WITH IT!
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail Photo Gallery
PaulS
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 18, 2006
Posts: 3334
Location: South-Eastern Washington - the State

PostPosted: Mon May 17, 2010 8:29 pm    Post subject: Re: The Retro-sexual Male Reply with quote

So,
You think I am going to accept that label? or any label? Confused
I am "just a man" and that is good enough for me - it was good enough for my dad and his. Razz
I have been called a lot of things in my life - some fit (at least at the time) and some didn't (and never will) Most of my friends call me an "alien" like from another planet - and compared to most my age, I suppose I am. Smile

_________________
Paul
__________________
Speer, Lyman, Hodgdon, Sierra, and Hornady = reliable loading data
So and So's pages on the internet = NOT reliable loading data
Always check data against manuals
NEVER exceed maximum listed loads
Back to top
View user's profile Send e-mail
RePete
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 15, 2005
Posts: 750

PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 6:42 am    Post subject: Re: The Retro-sexual Male Reply with quote

Based on the above, my Mum and Dad dragged up right.

_________________
Proud member of the WTFDTSG Club.

Stercus Accidit = Sh*t Happens in Latin.

Nice try = You Suck spelled different.

Back to top
View user's profile
Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10186
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 10:08 am    Post subject: Re: The Retro-sexual Male Reply with quote

Hell...I taught my wife to shoot and bought her a handgun just so when an intruder tries to knock the door down she can defend the home front...So I can stay in my easy chair recliner and won't miss any of my program...*Burp*

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
Back to top
View user's profile
Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12817
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue May 18, 2010 8:20 pm    Post subject: Re: The Retro-sexual Male Reply with quote

Thanks Radar....I already fit all of the above...although it doesn't hurt to be reminded every now and again.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)

Back to top
View user's profile AIM Address MSN Messenger Yahoo Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic   Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index » Jokes & Humor
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 7 Hours



Jump to:  


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
You cannot attach files in this forum
You cannot download files in this forum


Advertisements
 


Valid CSS! Valid HTML 4.01!
Click to check if this page is realy HTML 4.01 compliant for speed :)

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of HuntingNut.com.
The comments are property of their posters, all the rest © 2011 by HuntingNut.com
Interactive software released under GNU GPL, Code Credits, Privacy Policy

.: Upgraded to DragonFly 9.2 by Dizfunkshunal :.