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The Innocence of children...
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13886
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:32 pm    Post subject: The Innocence of children... Reply with quote

While I sat in the reception area

of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man

in a wheelchair into the room. As she went

to the receptionist's desk, the man sat there, alone

and silent. Just as I was thinking I should make

small talk with him, a little boy slipped off

his mother's lap and walked over to

the wheelchair. Placing his hand on the

man's, he said, 'I know how you feel. My

mom makes me ride in the stroller too.'

*****

As I was nursing

my baby, my cousin's six-year-old

daughter, Krissy, came into the room.

Never having seen anyone breast feed

before, she was intrigued and full of all

kinds of questions about what I was doing.

After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom

has some of those, but I don't think she knows

how to use them.'

*****

Out bicycling

one day with my eight-year-old

granddaughter, Carolyn, I got a little

wistful. 'In ten years,' I said, 'you'll want

to be with your friends and you won't go

walking, biking, and swimming with me like you do

now. Carolyn shrugged. 'In ten years you'll be

too old to do all those things anyway.'

******

Working as a pediatric

nurse, I had the difficult assignment

of giving immunization shots to children.

One day, I entered the examining room to give

four-year-old Lizzie her needle. 'No, no, no!' she

screamed. 'Lizzie,' scolded her mother, 'that's

not polite behavior.' With that, the girl

yelled even louder, 'No, thank you! No, thank

you!

******

On the way back from a Cub

Scout meeting, my grandson innocently said to my son,

'Dad, I know babies come from mommies' tummies, but

how do they get there in the first place?' After my

son hemmed and hawed awhile, my grandson finally

spoke up in disgust, 'You don't have to make

up something, Dad. It's okay if you don't

know the answer.'

*****

Just before I

was deployed to Iraq , I sat my eight-year-old

son down and broke the news to him. 'I'm

going to be away for a long time,' I told

him. 'I'm going to Iraq .' 'Why?' he

asked. 'Don't you know there's a war going

on over there?'

*****

Paul Newman

founded the Hole in the Wall Gang Camp for

children stricken with cancer, AIDS, and blood

diseases. One afternoon, he and is wife,

Joanne Woodward, stopped by to have lunch with

the kids. A counselor at a nearby

table, suspecting the young patients

wouldn't know Newman was a famous movie star,

explained, 'That's the man who made this camp

possible. Maybe you've seen his picture on

his salad dressing bottle?' Blank

stares. 'Well, you've probably seen his face on

his lemonade carton.' An eight-year-old girl

perked up. 'How long was he missing?'

*****

God's Problem Now.

His wife's graveside

service was just barely finished, when there was

a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous

bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder

rumbling in the distance. The little, old man

looked at the pastor and calmly said,

'Well, she's there.

*****

May happiness smile on your world and in your heart.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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d_hoffman
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio

PostPosted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 11:37 pm    Post subject: Re: The Innocence of children... Reply with quote

Vince wrote:
[align=center]

As I was nursing

my baby, my cousin's six-year-old

daughter, Krissy, came into the room.

Never having seen anyone breast feed

before, she was intrigued and full of all

kinds of questions about what I was doing.

After mulling over my answers, she remarked, 'My mom

has some of those, but I don't think she knows

how to use them.'



Cheers, Vince


Hey Vince, what really has me baffled about this one is... why were you nursing the baby ??? Poke Haha ROFL Laughing

_________________
The best form of gun control...aim straight!!!
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13886
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 12:19 am    Post subject: Re: The Innocence of children... Reply with quote

Embarassed Ummm....ummmm....I refuse to answer on the grounds that it might incriminate me.. Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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slimjim
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 16, 2009
Posts: 7812
Location: Fort Worth TX

PostPosted: Sat Feb 20, 2010 8:23 am    Post subject: Re: The Innocence of children... Reply with quote

Vince, thanks for the morning cheer!

_________________
"To anger a conservative, lie to him. To anger a liberal, tell him the truth." - Theodore Roosevelt

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." - Albert Einstein
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