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Wives
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13882
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Apr 09, 2009 9:58 pm    Post subject: Wives Reply with quote

Wives

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
-James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
-Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
-Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
-Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ad in the classifieds: Wife wanted. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine.
-Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!
Second Guy:.You're lucky, mine's still alive.
-Anonymous


Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Bushmaster
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10647
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 7:08 am    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

I never say anything bad about my wife...She has a 12" cast iron fry pan and I have to sleep sometime...

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Dimitri
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2009 1:46 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

"Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: The one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it."

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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gelandangan
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5932
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:36 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Mrs G won't be thrilled if I say something witty here..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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rdncktink
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Mar 02, 2007
Posts: 476
Location: Hwaseong, South Korea

PostPosted: Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:10 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

I think that this can work both ways. But than again ain't married. But a friend here is doing all my honey do's and makes one great fake boyfriend. Guess a fake boyfriend is training wheels for us single gals. So again, can go both ways boys.

_________________
Don't whine how bad your country is until you live in another.
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English Mike
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 08, 2007
Posts: 1365
Location: Whitehaven, Cumbria, UK

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 4:05 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Comment by one of my customers on the owners of another fishing tackle shop:

"It's great that Peter & Janice met & married - that way they're only ruining one relationship rather than two."
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13882
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 8:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Wives Reply with quote

Haha Haha Haha

Good one Mike...I know a few couples like that.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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