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Creation of Life
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12983
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 8:46 pm    Post subject: Creation of Life Reply with quote

On the first day, God created the dog and said:

'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'

So God agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'

The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'

And God agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty

years.'

The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'

And God agreed again.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'

But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten
the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'

'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'

So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service.
Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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redneckhunter
Member
Member


Joined: Oct 25, 2005
Posts: 81
Location: east texas ,lake of the pines

PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:32 pm    Post subject: Re: Creation of Life Reply with quote

but but what about the second childhood ? Shocked
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12983
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:35 pm    Post subject: Re: Creation of Life Reply with quote

Thats during the Grand Kids stage mate.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Pumpkinslinger
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 4376
Location: NC foothills

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 9:16 am    Post subject: Re: Creation of Life Reply with quote

Second childhood?!?! I thought I was still in my first one!

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Mike

"I ain't no better than anyone else, and there ain't no one better than me!" Ma Kettle

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A17Shooter
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 323
Location: California Foothills (Gold Country)

PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:26 pm    Post subject: Re: Creation of Life Reply with quote

No thanks to Vince but, now we know all about life. Very Happy

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A17Shooter
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sniper
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 5:15 pm    Post subject: Re: Creation of Life Reply with quote

Hmmmm....no doubt an Australian thing. That's a whole lot different than what my daddy told me! Very Happy
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