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Temratures
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Hauken
Member
Member


Joined: May 21, 2007
Posts: 31

PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 8:57 pm    Post subject: Temratures Reply with quote

Temperatures:

+15°C / 59°F
This is as warm as it gets in Norway, so we'll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Norvegians are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C / 50°F
The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Norvegians plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C / 41°F
Italian cars won't start.
The Norvegians are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C / 32°F
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Oslo Fjord gets a little thicker.

-5°C / 23°F
People in California almost freeze to death.
The Norvegians have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C / 14°F
The Brits start the heat in their houses.
The Norvegians start using long sleeves.

-20°C / -4°F
The Aussies flee from Mallorca.
The Norvegians end their Midsummer celebrations.
Autumn is here.

-30°C / -22°F
People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Norvegians start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C / -40°F
Paris start cracking in the cold.
The Norvegians stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C / -58°F >
Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole.
The Norvegian army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-70°C / -94°F
The false Santa moves south.
The Norvegian army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C / -297.4°F
Microbes in food don't survive.
The Norvegian cows complain that the farmers' hands are cold.

-273°C / -459.4°F
ALL atom-based movent halts.
The Norvegians start saying "Faen, it's cold outside today."

-300°C / -508°F
Hell freezes over, Norway wins the Eurovision Song Contest
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sat Dec 20, 2008 10:18 pm    Post subject: Re: Temratures Reply with quote

Hell has frozen over twice. Shocked

Dimitri

_________________
A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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Vince
Super Member
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13464
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 2:06 am    Post subject: Re: Temratures Reply with quote

Hey Hauken old mate...the aussies usually start shiverin' like a dog sh1tting razor blades at about 0 deg C. Very Happy Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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Hauken
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Member


Joined: May 21, 2007
Posts: 31

PostPosted: Sun Dec 21, 2008 3:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Temratures Reply with quote

Dimitri wrote:
Hell has frozen over twice. Shocked

Dimitri

Yes, hell froze over twice. But since hell has a good population of lawyers, politicians and tax collectors they got the furnaces going again pretty quick.
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sniper
Super Member
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Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Posts: 735
Location: Utah

PostPosted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 10:24 am    Post subject: Re: Temratures Reply with quote

Hauken...how does that go?

"A t'ousand Svedes, you know , running t'rough da snow, chased by vun Norvegian."...or words to that effect?

Welcome , a little late. Laughing
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