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Mental asylum
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5858
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 1:41 am    Post subject: Mental asylum Reply with quote

During a visit to the mental asylum,
a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

" Well " said the director " we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon,
a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub ".

" Oh I understand" said the visitor, "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup".

" No" said the director ...



[scroll down and see the rest]

























































"A normal person would pull out the plug,.
Do you want the bed near the window?"

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13567
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:26 am    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Embarassed take the bed beside mine. Embarassed Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:58 am    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

I don't guess I'll be rooming with you guys there. Before I read the punch line, I was thinking that all you would have to do is pull the plug. I'll send flowers, and maybe stop by to visit later this week! Very Happy

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10526
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 7:18 am    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Me too, Carry...Will that be roses Vince..? Laughing

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DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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vint2
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Joined: Nov 18, 2005
Posts: 1216
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 9:30 am    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Could we sneak in a little libation for you??????? Laughing Maybe something to read?????? ROFL

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gelandangan
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Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

I am reserving the aisle bed.. may need to visit the facilities at night..

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13567
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 2:39 am    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Roses...yes mate...they would be nice...oh, and a bowl of plastic fruit.

Libation...sure thing Vint...and I'll have a few beers as well...gotta share them with me mate Gelan.

Any chance of a few copies of Schizso Monthly, the magazine for practicing Schizophrenics ? We could certainly use something to read the time away whilst emptying the bath tub.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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vint2
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Joined: Nov 18, 2005
Posts: 1216
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:40 am    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

OK, how's a bout a case to start and we will have more waiting if needed!!!! Smile

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
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Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 5:57 am    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

What do ya reckon Gelan...will that get us by for a few hours mate?

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5858
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 3:58 pm    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

I think a barbie and a few yabbies would do fine Vince.
Cant have too much alcohol nowadays.. still recovering from me alcoholic diet.

Can't believe this.. just got confirmation that I have to go there again in a couple weeks time!!
Another alcoholic trip for me.. Sad Sad Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10526
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:45 pm    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Hey!!! You can't leave the "mental assylum"!!! Where do ya think yer goin' anyway...??

_________________
I have one nerve left and yer standin' on it...

DEMOCRACY Two wolves and one sheep voting on what to have for lunch...
LIBERTY A well armed sheep contesting the outcome of the vote...
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13567
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 9:22 pm    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Damn...I'll be alone...but don't worry mate...I'll cover fer ya...look after your share of the yabbies and beer. Very Happy Very Happy

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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gelandangan
Super Member
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5858
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:57 pm    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Bushmaster wrote:
Hey!!! You can't leave the "mental assylum"!!! Where do ya think yer goin' anyway...??

I am pretty much going from one mad house to another.. Insane
so it shouldnt make much of a difference where I am .. only the diet changes Very Happy

_________________
A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Elvis
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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 7472
Location: south island New Zealand

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:41 pm    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

Sanity is soo over rated anyway, just lookout for the guys in the white coats. :-]

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Them who eats the most duck eats the most feathers!
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vint2
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Joined: Nov 18, 2005
Posts: 1216
Location: Iowa

PostPosted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:55 pm    Post subject: Re: Mental asylum Reply with quote

And let's not forget we're all a bunch of nuts here,anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing

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Last edited by vint2 on Fri Sep 26, 2008 2:07 pm; edited 1 time in total
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