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When girls don't put out!!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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wy111
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Joined: Jun 02, 2005
Posts: 114
Location: N. Yorkshire, U.K. ( Pomgolia)

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 2:44 pm    Post subject: When girls don't put out!! Reply with quote

This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b**** knows I'm smarter than her!

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TRBLSHTR
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Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Posts: 1037
Location: Lower 48's-left coast(near portlandia)

PostPosted: Mon Jul 07, 2008 4:21 pm    Post subject: Re: When girls don't put out!! Reply with quote

Laughing Great story-I would dump her as she'll never give it up again without a FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing Laughing Laughing Mad Oh well-maybe Angry sex with her would be better! Mad Laughing Laughing Laughing
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jbird22cal
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Joined: Dec 13, 2006
Posts: 67
Location: Baraboo, WI

PostPosted: Wed Aug 06, 2008 3:41 pm    Post subject: Re: When girls don't put out!! Reply with quote

Sounds like a plan...

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"There, now it's better than new." - Harley Smith

"A fear of weapons is a sign of retarded sexual and emotional maturity." - Sigmund Freud

" I am not trying to be better than you... I'm not even trying to be Holier than you... I'm trying to be better and Holier than I was yesterday!" - jbird22cal
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A17Shooter
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Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 323
Location: California Foothills (Gold Country)

PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:07 am    Post subject: Re: When girls don't put out!! Reply with quote

Sounds like a hooker would have been cheaper.

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5676
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Aug 07, 2008 12:35 am    Post subject: Re: When girls don't put out!! Reply with quote

A17Shooter wrote:
Sounds like a hooker would have been cheaper.

Yep.. I agree..

I can't find any part of the first post of this topic as a joke.

For those boys that think girls are wrong when they don't put up, grow up!

Just by buying thing for them don't meant they have to put up.

Learn to respect them and better yet, learn to make them happy.

Don't you think there are reasons why they don't put up?
If you learn to make them like it as much as you do, then it is impossible for them not to put up, because then they would like it as much as you do.

If you only want gratuity for your money, go find a hooker.

Regards
Gelandangan
(father of two daughters, husband of a great wife and son of a great woman)

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A straight line is the shortest distance between two points.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people.

The government I trust .. is my .45-70 Government.

Do - Not try!


gelandangan.weebly.com/
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Dimitri
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Joined: Nov 25, 2005
Posts: 5906
Location: Southern Ontario

PostPosted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 3:42 am    Post subject: Re: When girls don't put out!! Reply with quote

The best girls I dated and know can be pleased with very little money and some of your time. I'll stick to the girls I know thank you very much, I am not rich nor do I look to spend my whole check book on a girl. Laughing

Dimitri

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A thousand hills, but no birds in flight, ten thousand paths, with no people's tracks. A lonely boat, a straw-hatted old man, fishing alone in the cold river snow.
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