If you could talk to the animals...

FALPhil

An Kiwi ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small town and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He figures he'll have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: Hey, good looking dog. Mind if I speak to him?

Australian: The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.

Ventriloquist: Hey dog, how's it going old mate?

Dog: Doin' alright.

The Australian is shocked!

Ventriloquist: Is this Aussie your owner? (Pointing at the Australian)

Dog: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Dog: Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the lake once a week to play.

The Australian can't believe his ears!

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your horse?

Australian: Horse doesn't talk either.

Ventriloquist: Hey horse, how's it going?

Horse: No worries.

The Australian's mouth is agape.

Ventriloquist: Is this your owner? (Pointing at the Australian?)

Horse: Yep.

Ventriloquist: How's he treat you?

Horse: Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements.

The Australian is TOTALLY amazed!

Ventriloquist: Mind if I talk to your sheep?

Australian: Wait a minute, mate! Those sheep are damned liars!

gelandangan

I think that you and your kiwi friend got lost, land at the South Island and think that it is Australia..
After all, it is quite a long swim.
It figures...
Those Kiwis and their friends are pretty gullible..

Vince

Methinks you are correct Gelan...I can see it now...a Kiwi looks at his girlfriend and says "you look gorgeous honey"....to which she replies BAAAAAA.

Laughing

Cheers, Vince