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More Suthen-ism's:
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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keetoowah
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:39 pm    Post subject: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

now i know you northerners wont get some of these and my friends that dont live here in north america i hope you enjoy these too.


Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
_____

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
_____

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
_____

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
_____

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
_____

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
_____

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!
_____

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
_____

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
_____

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
_____

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
_____

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines,... and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!
_____

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
_____

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
_____

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
_____

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
_____

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
_____

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
_____

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
_____

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
_____
And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!
_____

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'all's front porch that reads, "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!

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elky72ss454
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Joined: Jan 26, 2008
Posts: 23
Location: Louisiana

PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:39 pm    Post subject: Re: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

LOl...most of that is true. Two fish will make a mess if you throw thow them on the floor and stomp on them.... Very Happy

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keetoowah
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Thu Feb 07, 2008 8:06 pm    Post subject: Re: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

great sign... give a rebel yell

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OntheLasGallinas
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 1:08 pm    Post subject: Re: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

In south Texas we have a little different manner of speaking. The reason is, after the Civil War, the vast majority of north and east Texas was settled by people from the old south. Excluding the Native Americans, South Texas was settled by the Canary Islanders and the Scotch-Irish that were brought in by Stephen F. Austin and others. However, we do understand southern speech. Down here, "y'all" is always plural. The pronunciation of San Antonio will most definitely give away your point of origin and age as the name of the city slowly morphed from Spanish to the various dialects of American English. The county that San Antonio is located in is spelled Bexar and pronounced as "Bear," which is bastardized from the Spanish name where the X is phonically pronounced as an "H."

History and Language (and the history of language), some of my favorite subjects.

Cary

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gelandangan
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Joined: May 07, 2006
Posts: 5744
Location: Sydney Australia

PostPosted: Thu Mar 06, 2008 9:01 pm    Post subject: Re: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

Well, I dont unnerstand most of it..
I am in the South but we are on the top of the world..

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OntheLasGallinas
Super Member
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Joined: Aug 23, 2007
Posts: 1042
Location: South Texas

PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 7:34 am    Post subject: Re: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

Gelandangan,

Your comment about being on top of the world reminded me of a comment made by Albert Einstein. During a large scientific gathering, Einstein was taking questions about his various theories (i.e. relativity) when, as a joke, one of the listeners asked Einstein
"Why did the chicken cross the road?" Without hesitation, Einstein retorted: “Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends on your frame of reference.” Next Question…………

Have a great day!

Cary

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 13144
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Mar 07, 2008 10:01 pm    Post subject: Re: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

gelandangan wrote:
Well, I dont unnerstand most of it..
I am in the South but we are on the top of the world..

You know....you are right Gelan....I've never undertood it either mate.

Cheers, Vince

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grizzly48
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Joined: Mar 17, 2008
Posts: 14
Location: Upstate South Carolina

PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2008 7:41 pm    Post subject: Re: More Suthen-ism's: Reply with quote

I say Amen to being Southern ...........

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