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An athiest in the woods!
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Crackshot
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Joined: Oct 23, 2005
Posts: 1693
Location: Mich

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:47 am    Post subject: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

An Atheist In The Woods


An atheist was walking through the woods.


"What majestic trees"!

"What powerful rivers"!


"What beautiful animals"!


He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again, & the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"

Time Stopped.


The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky. "You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?

The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian"?

"Very Well," said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head & spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

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d_hoffman
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Joined: Feb 13, 2007
Posts: 696
Location: Chillicothe, Ohio

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:40 am    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Hey Crackshot, that was too funny... ROFL Laughing Haha The Wave

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KYGunner
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Joined: Dec 08, 2007
Posts: 99
Location: Elizabethtown, KY

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 11:43 am    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Nice One!! Worship

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Crackshot
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Joined: Oct 23, 2005
Posts: 1693
Location: Mich

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 2:27 pm    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Thought you fella's might enjoy this one.

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 12950
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 8:39 pm    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Awesome Crackster.....bloody good one mate. Laughing Laughing ROFL

(As an aside...how are you feeling now mate? Getting better?)

Cheers, Vince

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(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
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keetoowah
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Joined: Mar 20, 2007
Posts: 691
Location: Deep in the mountains of Montana

PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 12:44 pm    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Very Happy Razz was hiliarious... thanks for sharing

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Crackshot
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Joined: Oct 23, 2005
Posts: 1693
Location: Mich

PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 1:00 pm    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

OOPs! And the ladys too Keetoowah.

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Bushmaster
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Joined: Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 10237
Location: Ava, Missouri

PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 2:36 pm    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Hey Crackshot...Vince asked you a question...Well???

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Crackshot
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 26, 2008 4:37 pm    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Yes, Im doing better. I had an issue with congestive heart failure at Christmas, but they increased some meds,(lasixs I believe) and I feel some better, they want me to walk every day, But, in this cold I have a hard time with it hurting my chest. They told me to wear a mask, It dont help. My Mother gave me a tread mill and its pretty neat. put it front of the TV and walk and watch John Wayne movies.

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Weinbender
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Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Sat Feb 02, 2008 11:25 pm    Post subject: Re: An athiest in the woods! Reply with quote

Great Joke!!!! so true!

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