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The Purina Diet
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Donut Slayer
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Jun 27, 2007
Posts: 594
Location: Pensacola, Florida

PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2007 6:36 pm    Post subject: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

I have 2 large dogs, and was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart

and was in line to checkout. The woman behind me asked if I had a dog?

Duh? (Was she kidding???)

On impulse, I told her no I didn't have any dogs; I was starting The Purina Diet

again. Although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the

last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward

with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially The Perfect Diet, and that the way it works is,

you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every

time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my

story, particularly a tall guy who was standing behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ass and a car hit me.

_________________
Browning X-Bolt in 30'06. The work for a pet load starts again. Wink The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
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codybrown
Super Member
Super Member


Joined: Feb 10, 2007
Posts: 379
Location: Michigan

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 11:13 am    Post subject: Re: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

lol, that's great

_________________
I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly larger.
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Weinbender
Member
Member


Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 12:25 pm    Post subject: Re: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

Thats....thats....just the best fricken joke ive heard from u Donutslayer! Very Happy

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Vince
Site Admin
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15713
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 9:40 pm    Post subject: Re: The Purina Diet Reply with quote

That is a classic DS...pure classic. Well done mate.

Laughing Laughing ROFL

Cheers, Vince

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Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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