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Book Report - very clever
Jokes, funny stories and general humor
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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:30 am    Post subject: Book Report - very clever Reply with quote

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books.............

"Titanic", and

"My Life" by Bill Clinton.


One student turned in the following book report, with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report.

Titanic:. ... cost - $29.99
Clinton: ..... cost - $29.99


Titanic: ..... Over 3 hours to read
Clinton:. .... Over 3 hours to read

Titanic: ..... The story of Jack and Rose , their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: ..... The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic: ..... Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: ..... Bill is a bullsh1t artist.

Titanic: .... In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton : ..... Ditto for Bill.

Titanic: ..... During the ordeal, Rose's dress gets ruined.
Clinton: ..... Ditto for Monica.

Titanic: ..... Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: ..... Let's not go there. Shocked Embarassed

Titanic: ..... Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: .... Monica' s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic: ..... Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: ..... Clinton doesn't remember Monica.

Titanic: ..... Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton:. .... Monica...ooh, let's not go there, either. Shocked Shocked

Titanic: ..... Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: ..... Bill goes home to Hilary - basically the same Laughing Laughing

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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longshots
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Joined: Feb 12, 2005
Posts: 29

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:10 am    Post subject: Re: Book Report - very clever Reply with quote

Vince,
Once again you have started my day with a smile! This joke is a keeper.
Thanks.
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Weinbender
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Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Posts: 226
Location: Manitoba, Canada

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 7:13 am    Post subject: Re: Book Report - very clever Reply with quote

Haha

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"If it dont kick like a mule, it aint worth shooting"
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WileyWapiti
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Joined: Jan 04, 2006
Posts: 298
Location: NW Colorado

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 2:12 pm    Post subject: Re: Book Report - very clever Reply with quote

Vince, are you sure you are an Aussie? You sound an awful lot like one of us Yanks! Keep the laughs coming.

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Vince
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Joined: May 25, 2005
Posts: 15715
Location: Brisbane AUSTRALIA

PostPosted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 6:34 pm    Post subject: Re: Book Report - very clever Reply with quote

Longshots wrote:
Vince, Once again you have started my day with a smile! This joke is a keeper. Thanks.

That makes me happy mate. There is nothing better than making someone else smile.

WileyWapiti wrote:
Vince, are you sure you are an Aussie? You sound an awful lot like one of us Yanks! Keep the laughs coming.

Yep....definitely True Blue, fair dinkum mate.

I think that Australians must hear a lot more about the USA than the USA hears about Australia. The Clinton/Lewinsky saga got quite a big airing over here....in fact we get a lot of news and articles about the USA on TV here. I had an expat friend living in Missouri (she moved there so she could compete in Bianchi each year) and she was surprised at how little she heard about things over there compared to what we get.

Cheers, Vince

_________________
Cheers, Vince Cheers

Illegitimi non carborundum
(Never let the bastards grind you down)

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

"Nulla Si Fa Senza Volonta."
(Without Commitment, Nothing Gets Done)
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